Saturday, January 28, 2017

As the ratchets get their tune-up...

African Child Pornography, next to The Hardest Mixtape..., was my most ratchet project.
I recorded it the same day as The Evil Microchip.
A decidedly more sophisticated album.
There's something going on in The Black Market, of which I'm not ashamed to talk about, but it would incriminate some people who I love most.
And even some I'm not so crazy about.
But The Black Market is why I'm not so crazy about them.

The things it makes you do and say, ya know?

Anyway, I made a song called "Cherry Poppin' Daddy", where I describe what it's like to be every woman's boyfriend.
I still feel like women used sex with me to empower themselves, which kinda isn't a bad thing.
I just feel like I am no longer a factor in their lives.
It's like "fuck me andbe done with me".

Sex weakens a fighter
I thought I was tough enough to fight.
Unfortunately, the heart is willing, but my body isn't.
I think I wrote a few checks my ass couldn't cash.

No homo.

If I could walk through Harlem and not get tested (which isn't to say it happens), I'd be a blessed Black man.
But they all know who I am.
Even if I'm not..

The All Seeing Eye.

Like I thought I was.

Like, it drives me crazy.
Can you NOT see through my eyes?
If you can, have I let you down?
Could you do better?

To ask the last question explains Drake's existence.
I wished (in 2009) that I wasn't on top.
Then came Drake.
I haven't bounced back since.
I took my position for granted.
Now I'm struggling.
The music is still straight (to quote my uncle), but ... I'm not taking care of myself.

The truth?
I don't want to live.
The other truth?
I don't want to die.
I want to live forever.
I thought music would be enough, and to some extent it is.
My ideologies are available for everyone to hear and develop on.
But there's something missing.

Maybe I do need more fans.
If you even exist, StarChasers.
I know sometimes I can hate you guys (stop sending me your demo tapes!!!), but I kinda need you.

But what am I to do when the void isn't the listener?
There's something missing from my life.
Being gay doesn't cover the cost.
In fact, it disgusts me to even think of myself as gay.
It just makes me hate men more.

I think I'm a reverse homophobe.
They say "don't knock it until you try it".
Well, I tried it.
And I'm knocking.
My penis was meant to be inside of one woman.
It's fun to fuck random and many women, but they walk away with your energy.
And your thought process.

To some extent, I think Scientology might be onto something.
For example: what if Mary and Jesus practiced incest?
What if a Mary move would be to wash the feet of the people who were meant to betray her?
Jesus was tempted by Satan.
Not goaded by man.

I can go on...

Alas, back to the album about ratchet behavior and the rape of John Nintendo.
I called Em a "faggot" (to counter his perpetuated homohobia), I called Nas a "pussy" (to counter the line about him being a seafood lover), and I jabbed at Kendrick for saying he's "the King of New York" (if only he knew; he might, though).
I really don't want to battle anyone, anymore.
I have my opinions, but I feel my Gothik poetry is meant to inspire the Nihilist and (shutters) obey God.

I really want God to be a woman.
I can't boy to a white, male God.
Even though our hair follicles are white.
How do we know Silver isn't the anthropomorphic creature God was based on?
I know three 6z were The Wise Men that witnessed the birth of Jesus.

Or was it Jay, Nas and Em?

Back to the beats.
For now.

~follow the buzzards~

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