Tuesday, January 24, 2017

"I used to have big dreams..."

You know what?
I might be one of those bitter Grammy losers.
Because at this point, I don't see the point.
I was so naive about this game, despite all I know about it.
I thought all the nights of being cursed at for the sake of devotion meant I can just walk in this bitch, get my Grammy and start a family.


I since left the girlfriend I was with since I decided to get into the game.
I lost Demevolist as friends.
I lost my house and all my equipment.

"I'm a lion, on a diet, 'cause I'm broke. Shit."
-Charles Hamilton, "Ignore Ant"

I actually had millions when I wrote that bar.
I guess I'm not meant to be wealthy.

Alas, this is all my doing.
I disagreed with the process of promoting the album, so I bailed before it all took off.
But you don't understand who I am.
To do so would mean to understand why I bailed.
My power and my sight is not meant to be monetized.
You can see me, with my eyes.
You can hear me, both with my inner voice and cigarette stained voicebox.
You can feel me and my frail, underdeveloped body.

This sucks, to quote Beavis.

And, if you're looking for positive affirmations about getting in the game and following your dreams, don't.
You're dreams are merely rapid eye movement.
Sonic may be there, but there is only one Sonic.


Maybe that's why I'm going through this bullshit/bullyshit.
Knuckles, Silver, even Shadow don't go through this.
Because they are more aggressive and intimidating.

I wish I was Satan.

All must pay for the freedom I gave.

Then again, Jesus paid the ultimate price.
This could be a sign to go to God.
Be a better Christian.
Perhaps 666 has failed me.


Who am I doing this for?
All y'all do is send me your demo tapes and criticize my "unwritten" work.

I have a bomb for you guys.
I only mixed Sonic the Hamilton and Intervention from The Hamiltonization process.
So all your complaints about my sound are the fault of the "professional, big-studio" engineers you BEG me to go to.

I work so hard on sound.
But I know.
I gotta go back to Sha-Leik "for the mixing and the mastering".

I spoiled the world.
And it's my appetite that's ruined.

One more album.

Take it or leave it.

~follow the buzzards~

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