Tuesday, January 17, 2017

To retire as Satan... [random thoughts, as usual]

I really don't like to see people hurt.
No matter how much they deserve it.
So when my throne as Satan got jeopardized, I wasn't too mad.
But alas, I have to stand up for myself.

Again and again.

I honestly just want to make music.
Everyone (else) wants me to get rich and famous.

As if that's a gauge of one's talent.

I think I'm gonna go out like every Harlem Renaissance artist (and don't think it's not spelled "rennaisance"...).
Broke, lonely, and better than all.

I hope I have a daughter.
Until it is proven than Danjer is mine, I'll just treat Ava (Lisa's daughter) as if she's my own.
With love and concern.

I really miss eating food.

I'm not sure how long I'll be living.
I'm not sure how long I'll be living with my uncle and grandmother.
I can't really record the way I want to (think: loud and metal-like), despite the fact I developed a new singing technique (jazz-like baritone, and the occasional alto).

Odd Future doesn't suck.
They just haven't figured themselves out yet.

So I had a "vision" that SEGA left me AGAIN.
This time, they left me for Woody (@WoodysProduce) and Suge Knight.
Supposedly, Woody now works for Death Row.
And Suge is out of jail.

Let me tell y'all something.
I just want you happy.
But just know that you are a trigger for me.
You are/were the only thing that brings/brought me joy.
So if you leave me, you lose.

KNOW that shit.

?uestlove is stalking me.
Either he wants revenge, or he has a crush on me.
I can't call it.

Last night, I crossed every line.
It's not even worth talking about (with my loose lips).

Things just suck.
Basically, it looks like suicide at age 30 is on the menu.
I just have to build up the courage to do it.
And I HAVE to die.
If I don't, it's back to the mental hospital.
This blog post might get me re-institutionalized.

All this love I have.
Just waiting to be felt.

All the love there is.
Just waiting to be received.

"All this love is waiting for you..."

I might not finish Don't (my compilation project, dedicated to the deconstruction of John Nintendo/Nintendo itself).
I ...(lol) don't have the desire to finish it.
And no one is reaching out with serious inquiries/talent.
Alas, if I go based on image, the entire fucking WORLD would be on it.

I'll stop here.

And to family, be happy I'm blogging.
I could either plot to kill you or kill myself, with resentment towards you being the fuel.
Real spit.
Wanna know more?
Talk to me about what you DON'T talk about.

As fucked up as we/they are, at least The Hamilton Family would TALK about their/our demons.
As vocal as you Moorers are, I'm a little disappointed I have to wear a mask of happiness and go unseen by the people I'm the most starstruck by.
Then again, "What am I talking about?"
"Have I taken my medication?"

Yes I have.
Much to my detriment.

Or yours.

Or the mic's.

~follow the buzzards~

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