Wednesday, February 15, 2017

One 4 Brownie

So there you were.
The girl of my dreams.
Without saying a word.
Just a frustrated grin.

And there I was.
A loser.
Hiding behind medication and music.
Needing to record.
A broken smile.

We worked, you know.
Everything was perfect.
Even the sex.
The sex you swore wouldn't keep me.

But fuck if I didn't try to keep you.

You're probably in a hotel room with your new man.
Y'all are probably good and married.
Straight up, I should've NEVER let you go.
But if I had to choose between you and music, I would do it again.

I can't even ask you whether you wanted me to love you more than I love music.
That's what it was.
That, plus you and my mother couldn't get along.
I could've lived with that.
But I need the studio.
I need music.
I need the mic.
And now... I miss my mother.

Our love would've outlived her.
Our children would've been living well by now.
I guess you needed more security.

I need security.

Both financial and social.

But you were my security.
At least socially.
You made me make sense to me and the world I created.

It's been 5 years since you've been gone.
But you're with me everyday.

How, baby?

It's not up to me to figure out how anymore.
That's his job.

But you will never experience love like the love I gave you.

There's that.

Peace, Brownie.

I hope he makes you happy.

Because I will make you cum.

~follow the buzzards~

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