Saturday, March 04, 2017

Too/Two/To Left

"I'm scared to be a 6!"
-Charles Hamilton, "reMinder pt. 2"

I hid the fact I was a 6.
Such is seemingly impossible, but I did it.
I didn't want everyone to know.
As times got more dire, I proudly would drop down and press people.

But who am I kidding?

I'm not a killer like Jack.
I'm not as rude as George.
And I'm not as enigmatic as Dilla.

So, music is my 6.

I've been assaulting you.
Mad force.
Bars you'll never get.
I mean, I wrapped 1.

I belong to me.

But what does it matter to you?

Jay(-Z) seems to know more than me.
Or innovated life (and the mysteries in it) before me.
It just seems like I'm here for the lust of anyone who knows anything.

I feel like a whore.

Dear Everclear,
Did you know I would/could relate to that song?

I fear being stripped everyday.
No one can ease that tension.
Women can strip me.
Gangstas can strip me.
Corporate folk(s) can strip me.

The Industry pretty much successfully stripped me.

It's not enough that all can hear me when I put on my headphones.
Not enough.
I have to "play the game", no matter how much they respect "what I do on my own".

I just want to be a 6 in peace.
But... what is a 6 entitled to?

I answered that question for them in 2012.
I gave them all I had.
Which, in case you didn't know, is everything.

But Jay could give them/us more.
I wish I wasn't so mesmerized by him/Jeff.
I don't know what he does or how he does it, but everything he does seems perfect.

Actually, this problem I have is sort of a blessing.
I seem to be the only one vocalizing their issue(s) with Jay.
But he could very easily be my best friend.

I don't have a lot of friends.
At least ones I can trust.
I only trust aliens.
And they are ... around.
If they could only reveal themselves to me.
I did nothing wrong to them.
I might have gone too hard in 2012 to prove they exist, but such doesn't mean I'm to be discarded because of my behavior.


Whatever they want to do to humans, they can just do.
Just don't leave me alone.
I love you too much to be cast aside or ignored.

"And I never... knew a love like this before..."
-Stephanie Mills

I'm sorry, 6.
I don't deserve you.
But don't desert me.
I don't want to cry wolf, but I am not prepared for the tests of man.
They want me to be like the others.
I've never been like them, as much as I love them.

I might be too sensitive to be a 6.

About a decade ago, this picture wouldn't have meant anything to me.
So Beyonce, you might have to thank your husband and Sha-leik.
Being vulnerable is what makes me open up so much in the booth.
Other than that, my conceit would be more apparent.

Blessings to you and your babies.

~follow the buzzards~

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