Thursday, April 20, 2017

Dear Sasheer (and Beyonce)

This song is dedicated to all rape victims.
There is no blaming yourself.
And there is no revenge.
There is a deep wound within you, but you can heal.
Don't search for love.
You'll end up spending money.
Don't search for closure.
It'll attract the wrong people.

On November 30th, 2009, I went to visit Sha-leik at his house.
I was just with Simone Porter earlier that day.
I showered, got fresh, and went to go see Sha to get high.

My uncle Jeff wasn't allowing me to smoke.

I get there, we smoke, start chopping samples, and he subconsciously tells me he's J Dilla.
I doubted him.
So I 6-shot him.
George and THE REAL J DILLA understand.
Then, I up'd him.
George and THE REAL J DILLA (and maybe Jack Splash) understand.

A few minutes later, he says "If you sleep here, I swear I'm gonna rape you."
It triggered me.
I felt fear for the first time in a long time.
It's bad enough I'm almost certain Drake raped me.
But this was a friend of mine.
He would know how deep of a gash that would leave.
So I brushed it off.

I verbally asked him if he was seriuos, and he didn't say a word.
So I ~telepathically~ dared him to do it.
I laid down on the floor with my laptop open, and went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning, after visions of ALL OF 8th AVENUE (Harlem) gang raping and belittling me.
I woke up before Sha did.
I took a shit.
Nothing seemed out of place.
When I left, his sister (who locked the door as I exited) screamed "ALL DAY!"

There's a chance Lionell Sha-leik Martin MIGHT be J Dilla.
Or a victim of Beats By Dr. Dre.

So I bring this blog entry to the top and say...

Dear Sasheer (Zamata),
You are the face of a Black poindexter's dream. I have visions of us being together in this lifetime, just as younger souls. I want to love you. I lust after you. I want you to walk all over me. And I want you to believe in SEGA. You have a crush.

Charles Hamilton

~follow the buzzards~

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