*drKiwi* became a way of anonymously addressing people in my life, without saying names and having people search for them online. In this situation, I won’t *drKiwi* you, but I won’t say your name.
To protect the sanctity of our friendship.
Dude is like StarChaser Enemy #1, with how devoted he’s been to me. He’s gone from distant supporter to damn near manager. His love and support means EVERYTHING to me. Some things he’s helped with, I can’t mention on the blog for administrative reasons. Dude is an angel.
We only disagree when it comes to the means of songwriting.
He wants me to write.
I’ve tried repeatedly to explain that not only do I make sense when I don’t write, but it’s better for my mental health. Though he respects that, he feels the world was a better place when I wrote. I recently wrote a project. Pentecost. He loved it! No complaints. But went so far as to say it was the best body of work I created in the last 5-6 years. I was almost offended, but I understand that my music, in general but specifically when unwritten, is an acquired taste.
I let it go, but I wrote this.
I ask that homie understand that I’m not trying to ignore requests, but I’m on some other shit. Eventually, I’m gonna stop putting music out. I may continue to blog, but my music is meant for healing. My newer music is meant for MY healing. I can’t claim to know how you feel if I’m wounded myself.
I see that being a StarChaser requires patience. Well, wherever you end up going (fan wise), know that I care about you and am thankful for your input. No one I know is on the path I’m on, including you. In fact, I’m grounded in what/who I am. I’ve never been more confident about it. I wish my confidence could exude in my music, but I’m too busy dancing to care.
I go stupid. Those that go stupid, know stupid.
And it’s all the pleasure in a moment’s time that once existed with writing. I literally made #Pentecost for the enjoyment of a written CH song. I shouldn’t have sent it to you, but you are the main catalyst for me writing. I wrote a song a day for this project. And it’s not just rap! StarChasers are in for a treat.
As for the StarChasers who love the unwritten/freestyle work? It gets no more raw than #CorporalPunishment. HOLDING the mic, in an Iowa basement, in front of ANOTHER longtime StarChaser and his family. I wanted to catch the slightly awkward family vibe, and I’m pretty sure I did that.
Back to you, my beloved StarChaser. I don’t think anything I say will ever convince you to accept the unwritten style. But I know the love is there. I just don’t want to write ONLY because of you. I was inspired to do it. You gotta let it happen.
You gotta let it happen.
^
^
Love you forever, Big Dog.
