Pocket change.

I have a decent vocabulary. I don't have to use profanity or slurs. I just reflect the ignorance of what I grew up around. Still, there are other ways to express ire about it.

So I created thing called "lyrical pockets". Things I say to point back to/deflect from particular bottom lines discussed in music.

It started with "From the Desk Of...". My lyrical pocket was to start every verse off with "See (C),...". I took note of it, and it is MISSING from "Sober Karaoke". By that time, I was doing Em ad-libs. Took note, and on "The Pink Lavalamp" Em ad-libs and bytes were replaced with shout-outs. That was my thing from 2006-08.

2008-2010, I would giggle. That was my pocket. I think Nicki took note of it and added it to her arsenal. But yeah. The innocently devilish laughter at the esoteric meanings of my lyrics would make me laugh, because even if your average listener didn't/doesn't get it, high society was put on notice.

Probably why I went through so much of what I did.

2012-2020 was me referencing my 2005-10 music, and either capitalizing or demeaning it. You would have to KNOW my music from the beginning to understand the growth/devolution. I got the idea from Melle Mel. Though it is somewhat of a jab to his old ass, it's the ULTIMATE tribute because he dead was killing it at the time of me seeing it.

I'm trying not to use "I" or "me" too much. One can express individual thoughts without being so wrapped in those words. However, as much as I do this for you, I do this for ME. The me that you KNOW. Not the KNOW that you me.

Go on a deep dive of "symbolism". I'll see ya there!!!

Does this oversized tee make me look fat?

#KFCdiscounts

#EBT

"Hamilton!"

Speed demons

Still working on #Slave. Don't wanna rush it, moving slower than usual. One reason could be because I THOROUGHLY enjoy this Mayfield joint. It's fresh off the #bicentennial, and it came at the end of an era. Lyrically, the focus is more on matters of the heart (*) than social issues. And he does it in a way which encompasses the two. This provides a foundation for a future bottom line.

Maybe even the revolution, as sang about by him and spat about by Gil-Scott.

I'm not sure what my goal is with this joint. I know that my (particular) speed with this is a form of rebellion to the afformentioned "slavery". But "pacing myself" is ANOTHER form of slavery: to the notion that I "rush" projects. Look. I go with the ((creative)) flow. If it all comes out in one setting, so mote it be. But I don't NEED to stretch the time to exhaust the rhyme.

I really let y'all in, pretty far behind, the proverbial curtain. I'm not surprised that many in my personal circle are not "enamored" in my critical acclaim. But I will remind you that, outside of StarChasers, I have yet to get a bad review. Critics know I'm no joke. I just don't play the game to be on their radar.

I got my own radar.

(***beep***)

Skewered on a pitchfork.

I keep talking about a crossroads. Let's get into it:

I chose God over The Lord, in the unamed battle of #TheDivine. In the end, God proved to be LESS jarring... as JARRING (overwhelming, in other words) as God can be. The Lord is a beautiful figure, but I can literally FEEL The Lord screwing with me to see my reaction. And if I'm wrong (in the long run), it's a decision I can live with forever because, unlike most (outside of those with street alliances), I chose a side.

I remain neutral in the war between Lucifer and Beelzebub, though Lucifer is a big influence in my music. Beelz is a great person in my life, and I wouldn't want to rupture our relationship by directly choosing Luc (pronounced Looch). Simultaneously, I could care less about The Devil. We've all been victimized, many have stood up (to dude), no one is successful at making him do anything but FURTHER piss off the globe. Satan, is The Sun, so such is my loyalty.

I keep choosing SEGA over Nintendo. I don't talk about the figures and changes, because, whether blatant or subliminally, it's all available through watching each and any of the Sonic movies. For that, I am proud of my alien cadets. Doesn't mean I haven't been reached out to by Nintendo for creative projects and "purposes". In fact, my musical counterpart was approached by them, too. Our answers were the same. So SEGA, know that AT LEAST 2 individuals out there believe you are more than #Service.

Yet again tho, what you won't do for love...

Slave, in progress.

#CzH

Humans.

Human beings love a good blooper. They feel everything recorded on video (specifically) is celebrity, worship-level, and that it tells a story of perfection. When celebs flub on video, it's been bigger, because they themselves are already seen as worship-level perfection. Granted it's how one bounces back from such flub that determines one's future. Regardless, if it's on tape, it lives forever in the minds and hearts of the ignorant.

There's some video of MC Lyte falling on stage. The comments are there. The thing that bothers me is, Lyte never took an L, EVER. So, to be a 40 year veteran and to only slip on stage ONCE is a big thing. I remember recently BDK (Big Daddy Kane) was performing and tried to do his signature spin and split. He JUST BARELY pulled it off, and it wasn't pretty. Has he fallen off? Do his bars no longer matter? His impact? All that ... is it gone?

I'm able to speak on this, because my viral moment of mayhem went viral again. To me, the video isn't that serious. I said what I said, she reacted, moment. But there's still little random dickheads who say she punched me out of a career. Petty shit aside, I didn't stop doing anything I was already doing, ESPECIALLY not because of the video. And I didn't say anything misogynist in my verse, so it's just kids looking for a rise outta me.

Well, here's a post.

Leave me and Lyte alone, ya heard???

We are aliens with emotions. Or humans with alien powers.

And some of us are slaves.

#reborn

A #bipolarsunshine moment

Between working on #Slave and listening to #TBS, I find myself feeling guilty. Embracing God/The Lord/Jesus is not easy for me. My history is not in the light. Either side of the family. I call myself doing the right thing by sending StarChasers/Goths to God. 

But what if God TRULY is Gold, Oil & Drugs??

If goths wouldn't mind classifying themselves as StarChasers, that would make my life easier. If you want, you can be Gothic StarChasers. Count on me to make the soundtrack to the struggle.

For shits and giggles, Eminem has a Gospel song. WITH Kanye even, and PRODUCED by Dr. Dre (a name that comes up in my God conversations off the record). I guess to speak of God is to show humility. What I do is, when my greatness comes up, I speak in 3rd person.

Pretty cool, huh?

The Bipolar Sunshine

Coming soon.

~~CH~~

No rest for the wicked... Again

Doctor's orders, I was taking at least a healthy week off of music. But the doctor's orders, coupled with my status in the criminal justice system, sans my place in Politics, I felt like a slave this morning. So I went to bed with Ghost face playing, and woke up playing "Georgie Porgy" by Toto. Phenomenal record.

I just, unfortunately, couldn't get into the album all the way. Does that mean that the music was bad (to me)? HELL know. The progressions and melodies, not to mention the songwriting, was chef's kiss. It just didn't reach a certain... trigger.

So what do I go and do...?

Enter The Mayfield

(dot blogspot dot com)

I am now inspired to record a #SuperCharlesHamilton album entitled "Slave". I am now entitled to record a #SuperCharlesHamilton inspired by "Slave". I am a slave to the criminal justice system (I obey the law and avoid confrontation). I am a slave to the mental health system (I am med compliant and pussy). I am a slave to my StarChasers (I keep my publicly FELT opinion silent, to ensure I will not be "shadowbanned"). I am a slave to #TheMainstream (my shit is funky, b!). 

Am I a slave to Curtis Mayfield?

The actual answer may shock you.

This time, I may not tell you the original album. It is up to your God-given #freewill to search and discover. See Goths (StarChasers, be seated for now), Curtis's lyrics spoke of a pain that Black people didn't talk about. He was deep into the subconscious of the Poindexter Black kid. And the pain he encountered left him to make certain alliances that ensured a great future for him, but doomed (his) humanity. That's a Gothic move if I ever heard of one.

Okay, StarChasers. Rise again.

Oh yeah. Love.

Where may they be love in all this?

I won't lie. I kinda wanna shoot my shot at Ellie Rizoa. I feel like she totally understands me. Then again, I should leave it where it is. Creator admiration for the win, y'all!

Columbine, bound by the bassline, bodying the bottom line.

#CzH

#phenomenal

I acknowledge the power of magic...

^
^
^
After 2 hours of vibing and (literally) bearing my soul, I have decided, in front of the StarChasers who dare view, to be...

The Voodoo Priest of Hip-Hop

!

I feel that hip-hop is in a place where it is so aggressive (both male and female) it can't feel joy... through magic. The feeling, if you will. I know the feeling is real. To deny is to reply. To do is to knew. I feel is to seal the deal. 

Maybe I'm trying to seduce you all. I am... lol like I dead ass am that good in bed. Only I can disagree with me, and I've been masturbating less. But I feel that, if I practice what I preach ONSTAGE, the collective spirit of mankind can be boosted... permanently. 

Rock w/ me while I piece together the future of The Talented Mr. Hamilton.

In the meantime, click here to peep ALL of The Talented Mr. Hamilton's mixes.

Let's dooit!

#reborn

 

Jim Jones Christ Superstar

I need those who are not confident in my unwritten rhyme skills to watch this video until the end. Jim Jones, alongside Max B, Jay-Z, VS Diamond, SKE the Heistman and MANY other figures I've met in my life, are mentally GENIUSES. 

To write in one's head is to literally PROJECT the words you want to say, MENTALLY, OUTSIDE OF YOUR MIND. And ALL YOU CAN DO is tell the truth about yourself. Certain figures, ala Jay, subconsciously placed "mirrors" on their outer being, to deflect the "subliminal" lyrical attacks. In fact, if you diss Hov, you end up dissing yourself. In my case, it's revealing secrets I wouldve taken to the grave.

What Mr. Jones is doing is NOT easy. And his hard past reflects itself in his lyrics. Yet he's STILL able to say some slick shit in every other line. I can't speak on Harlem's POV of him, but knowing him personally, he's ABOUT his craft. He's just haunted by ...well, the things he raps about.

I've made it clear that I don't want to pick sides between Jones and Giles. I just want Cam to BLACK creatively, to get the upper hand in this battle that could turn into an internal bloody war.

Sit down, El Pollo Loco.

Gotta run. More posts soon.

#thephenom!!!

Super!

I feel really good about the #SuperCharlesHamilton music. It's chaotic, creative, honest, raw, existential, conservative... Just what you would expect from something "super". Idk about dropping previews, but if you email me (charleshamiltonreturns@gmail.com), I just may send you some stuff ... For a fee.

Tune into my poetry blog today. I plan on dumping some emotions on it.

I gotta take better care of myself. I can see me becoming a hater of the flawless, because of my glaring flaws.

Hopefully, this inspires other Goths (of whom are in the shadows/darkness) to step out and embrace The Sun...

#reborn

Truth the ugly.

Lately, the mirror has been my WORST enemy. I have a huge knot on my head from when I crashed out at VS Diamond's house, as well as a scar from a fight in prison. The aforementioned scars truly blemish my (rather) handsome face, of which is peppered with freckles. But now, there's a new terror:

My teeth are rotting out.

I got some dental work done in 2015, and during the pandemic they started to come undone. So when I went in for the procedure, they removed a tooth that was said to cause other teeth to fall out. And slowly, but surely, that's what's happening. I have a contingency plan for if any of my front teeth fall out, but fuck that shit. I must make some money. 

Then I can get veneers or whatever.

As if my teeth being fucked isn't enough, I have a nagging, lingering gut. I have been working out (not as much lately), and I watch what I eat... it's water weight from the meds. Of which I'm sticking to, truly. So I'm kinda stuck with this guy until I'm financially free from the meds.

Remember. In order to stay here, I gotta stay on the meds.

Finally, with many more flaws to complain about, my feet are a travesty. Bad grooming habits. I can take MUCH better care of myself. I guess I need to give myself reason to. There is officially no woman in my life. If I get dressed up/fresh'd up, it's to BE in the public eye. Like, I would be a person of interest where I'd be going. Otherwise, I have no reason to dress to kill.

Warning: I clean up nicely.

Columbine Gang, btw...

#CzH

AI imagines Super Charles Hamilton

It's a start.

Thank you, Grok.

Send your images of Super Charles Hamilton to charleshamiltonreturns@gmail.com.

I love you guys' art work.

#pheNOM!!!

 

Another year of Hip-Hop...

Technically, hip-hop has been around since ancient times. Through oppression, repression and regression, we have lost our roots. It's not a lost artform, nevertheless. Speaking for myself, I am very critical of hip-hop. It is highly influential, among impressionable youth (specifically). If used correctly, it can boost the morale of generations coming and going.

I didn't do anything different today, considering it was another birthday for our beloved artform. Handled business, made a few beats... kept it pretty low-profile. 

I wrote this post on August 11th, 2025. I forgot to post it. Jeez...

I'll be around.

#therebirth

Marvel @ this...

^
^
^
No fact-checking, all hood-"based" speculation.

Only addressing it because people close to me have.

What I have is not much, but it's everything.

I strive for more.

And I have representatives. 

And there's no oath.
Only rituals.

If you're not down with rituals OF ANY KIND, don't enter the music business.

Correct me if I'm wrong.
I have a master teacher.

#reborn 

The future of Live @ 12...

There's a few reasons why I'm not live yet. For starters, I have a meeting with my psychologist that's running overtime. Later, I have a conference call with Universal. Then, my wifi connection is poor. So poor, that YouTube cuts the whole session. 

I MAY try to stream tomorrow (Saturday), as there will be less people using the network. Usually happens that way, on the weekends. But yeah. Until I can get to a sturdy wifi connection where I can make x amount of noise, Live @ 12 is dead. Call it Live w/ The Talented, as all of my production-centered live streams will be placed in this playlist.

I'll be around, y'all. 

I look worse in person.

#mylords...

The vision.

 If you've been in tune with me since I hit the scene in 2008, you'll notice a pattern. From clothing to flowing. There is a reason for such. I want you to get used to me being around, while accepting the distance placed between us. Yes I wear pink, but I'm not social. Yes I wear black, but I'm hopeful. I identify as a Goth, but I have a great relationship with God. I'm peaceful, but have ties to the streets. I suck at relationships, but I'm always in one.

I have shared parts of my professional and family history, in hopes to get you to open up about your scars... TO HELP YOU GET PASSED THEM. I don't like the feeling of wallowing in one's own sorrow. Nothing gets done. So if being progressive about my ever loving soul seems me NOT Gothic, so be it. But I know my history in the darkness, and Harlem knows it too. I'd venture to say NEW YORK, CITY AND STATE, KNOWS I GET DOWN IN THE ABSENCE OF LIGHT.

I'm more than aware that Curtis Mayfield and James Brown are not immediate picks for Goths to listen to. But JB is cited as the father of heavy Metal with his screeching on a song. And Mayfield is/was the voice of a revolution that STARTED with Blacks, but was meant for any and all pariah of the world. I just wanted to open the Gothic mind and heart to fuel for one's spoken word exploits.

Look. No one wrote the blueprint for my existence in the public eye. I used to model myself after Em. Nuances and all. It worked, but I only saw and heard Em, and not enough of myself. When I finally got the courage to go in the booth and vent, I felt more like myself. Granted I was subbing Hov in every other bar, and Marshall caught a few strays, but it was all uncensored, unfiltered CH.

I can stand behind that. In due time, I'll break it all down and it'll be easier to digest. Until then, everyone has a 3rd eye, 4th ear, 5th nose and 6th sense. Upon discovering yours, the definitions become easier to access. And even if that doesn't work, you are witnessing a hopeless Goth struggle to believe in himself... on beat.

And having a blast dooinit.

#reborn

36, in a karate class

I now have the ammunition and fuel to write the following...

The music I made from 2012-2025 makes ME happy. I get joy when it comes down to bustin' down lines and adding syllables. I get a thrill when I take subconscious stabs at people who hurt me, on any scale. My greatest self-defense is my mind, and I express such when I don't "take time to write" a verse/song. In fact, I find it to be more valuable to record EVERY MOMENT of my time when I'm making music. 

It all attests to magic/magick.

Someone pointed out to me that the music since coming home in 2011 is more cryptic and has less syllables than my previous work (eg. #TheHamiltonizationProcess). He admitted that he's comparing me to Em. I simply told him not to (compare me to Em), because there's no comparison. Em does what he does with words, I do what I do with MUSIC. My MUSIC since 2012 has been more MUSICAL. More flow-centric. The content is there, the syllables are there (when you listen), the flow is off the charts... the average listener may not be up on just how high-quality this music is.

He brought up the coughs and belches. I tried to explain that it's a part of the context, but that's an uphill battle. Listen. I did voice-over work for about 6 years. I know how to convey a character in my delivery of mentally-composed spoken word. Then he brought up my talks of incest and Illuminati dealings. Honestly, that stuff is a deep part of me, and one should feel privileged to even know about it. One day, you're knowledge of me could save your life.

I pray such a day never happens.

I been defending myself in my music. Against those who want me to focus on them more. Against those who want me to live THEIR version of MY dream. Against anyone I have to downplay myself for in order to maintain the presence of. If you can't get down with that, I have to respect it. Maybe you need something more cut-and-dry. But such was the case back in 2008. Only to have people turn back around in 2010 and say the contrary. Timeless music takes time to digest. 

And one's goal is to NEVER be just like their hero. Just be as great, somehow.

#thealienXarles!!!

Under the Influence

There was a time in my life where I was ONLY influenced by the people I worked with directly. Some could say "chilled with", but every moment with each other was creative. I'm talking about Sciryl, Kesed, Yung Nate, Sha-leik and Halo.

Those were my go-to guys for inspiration.

After The Pink Lavalamp, Sha-leik stayed with the sonic direction of it while I branched out. I always wanted to challenge his ear, and he always came to me with new beat ideas ("Reminder" was an amalgamation of sounds we collected; no direct sample). We even developed our own means of communication through sound. I wonder if he remembers that.

I met Sciryl at... well, he told the story in my documentary. We been cyphering with each other since the day we met. MUSICALLY, we go in different directions, but we always jousts with our liquid swords.

Yung Nate is my partner in crime. From felonies to celebrities. We may bump heads on how we live our personal lives, but I can count on him to hold me down. He's a loose cannon about me, and I'm Johnny Cochran about him. That's what hip-hop should be.

Kesed is the illest post breathing. The Poet's Circle always gives that title to Oveous Maximus, but Kesed has GENERATIONS of poets shaking in their boots. I am HONORED to say I'm his friend, and that when I'm in my darkest hour, I can count on him for support. I'll never forget that about him.

Halo and I share The Sun. And he's so ill, sometimes I just gotta give it to him. I love him like he's a celebrity, and he knows how big of a star I am. I try not to alienate him with it, and I think he sees that. As with the other influences, he asks to be in the background. Am I wack for seeing their star potential and pushing them forward?

Well, too late.

Love y'all.

H2 x Sciryl x CH

Sha-leik x CH

Sha-leik x CH x YungNate x PDunner

CH x Kesed

Paris, or PDunner, was class of '04. HIGHLY respected graduating class. Broke ground in the educational system (at least in New York) FOREVER. I mention him on #TheBingeVol1 as "the best rapper alive". I have since graduated to believing that I was poor righteous teacher, this beyond being categorized as a GOAT. I mean, you can give me the title. I'm responsible.

Lol

New York, stand up!!!

#therebirth

Ge-hinn down...

 Vibration compels me. I must address the people.

I find that, in the new music, I mostly enjoy songs addressing how good God/The Lord/Jesus is to me. "Keep On", a song from "Out Of My League", is in HEAVY rotation. The context is, The Lord spoke to me and said, "Even though you dwell in the opposition of me, keep on gettin' down.". I couldn't deny her of how right she is/was. But i want The Lord to know that I'm on her/his side as well.

See, the pact I have with God, The Lord and Jesus is, I will speak the blasphemies of everyone, while they accept all. So my songs, from 2010-present, are anti-Gospel songs. Sing them freely, as that's what they were meant for. But KNOW that while you dwell in Heaven, I am on Earth, toiling in your name.

So mote it be.

The song changes.

np: "Charles Is Bad"

Before I blog about "Charles Is...", there's a record hidded in my upcoming releases that I talk about OFTEN. "GOD (Get On Down)". God guided my tongue through it. I felt it. Acts 2:38, type shit.

The Holy Trinity (GodThelordJesus) suit me quite well. But on behalf of all my Pagans out there (YOU ALL), I gotta light them ass on fire.

New music, coming soon.

"Keep on gettin' down... keep on gettin' down..."

The blog about DJ Premier

I have a tendency to give flowers to the most random, yet crucial time(s). DJ Premier came to mind today, seemingly out of nowhere. And even though I have my biases (J Dilla, DJ Jazzy Jeff, etc.), I think highly and fondly of The Talented Mr. Martin.

Growing up in Harlem (at the time), I always heard Gang Starr or Premier-produced records. Likely because I would listen to Future Flavas and Stretch and Bob. So I always took a liking to his sound. But it was the Gang Starr record "Discipline" that made me look at him like a sensei.

From there, he became like a hip-hop barometer. If you couldn't see Premier supporting or being behind it, it wasn't hip-hop. Now, I pride myself on being Rock and Roll. Still, I am rather Acid Jazz and deeply Gospel. Like a Premier beat, all those sauces are blended within and baked to flawless imperfection.

Our styles and STYLINGS are pretty different. But the fundamentals of lacing a tight beat for a dope MC to go for broke on is still present. I probably wouldn't be into hip-hop as much without Primo (Em/Dre excluded; they're like Acid Jazz).

Thank you, DJ Premier.

Inspiration forever.

#therebirth

"...users are the only abusers..."

 LA is a dope house. In every neighborhood, you can see the primary drug (and it's influence). Weed is everywhere. But for the right price, so is any and everything else.

I'm not interested in relapsing. Outside of what I do in my imagination, I just drink a little and smoke weed. Still, there's like a pressure from all those who know I have a history with Dope to... kinda be back on it. I'm always being told to write, make another Lavalamp, make what the radio's making to make the money, ...all that shit does is fuel a rebellion from which they stand to go broke from.

See & Hear: I'm fine. I am going into my 38th(!!!) Year accomplished and accounted for. I can't ask for a better status. Just know that I am in a position in life where, if I don't do it, it doesn't benefit me. And just because YOU don't see the benefit, doesn't mean it's not there.

I sleep better at night, thanks to my small exploits of time and attention. And there's no lady in my life to hold accountable (for), so I get to sleep late. Still, I'm up, writing to an audience of #theesoteric.

Nite nite.

I know the title is out of context. So are most critiques of me and my music.

#therebirth

Sonic frontiers

I began working on a new project. This time, under the name of Super Charles Hamilton. Think Sonic the Hamilton gone Super, and Charles Hamilton playing the role of Super Mario. I know I said "Out Of My League" was a Charles Hamilton release, but at the time of writing this, I have it listed as a Super Charles Hamilton project. When it hits streaming, it will be listed as Charles Hamilton.

But yeah. The project is called "Adrenaline". Don't wanna get into too many details, but it's about being a casualty in the Battle of The Sexes. Musically, it covers most ground. SONICALLY, it's male-oriented. Now that I have the tools to be less abrasive without losing rage (in my mixes), I'm debating on whether it needs to be so rough to exert the feeling of conflict. The ladies will be well-represented.

#TheBipolarSunshine set a standard, and it's not even out...

Bedtime. Just wanted to exercise my thoughts.

#reborn

the downward spiral, controlled.

Admittedly, I been on the lower end of the bipolar section. Mainly the news of Baddie, but... yeah, I mean, that's it. I feel I invested a lot into her (non-financial) and I walked away with memories and ...yeah that it's. However, I think of it like this... or JUST thought of this, JUST now... 

if I hadn't met Baddie, I would've never had an apartment in LA (with the amenities it has).
So I'm thankful to TheFather for my growth and our relationship.

Now I'm not down. 
Or was this/were these the thoughts I had before I opened up blogger?

Speaking of creative differences, I got the green light from #mgmt to drop the new/unreleased music. Meaning, there will be a Google Drive link for Dr. Hamilton, as well as the much talked about The Rebirth of Charles Hamilton and CH. I'm still on the fence about finishing my God Eddie-Lee and The-Devil music. It got a lil REAL up in here. lol

I'm literally pushing beyond depression/bipolar y'all! I am actually dooinit! I take my meds, workout lightly, and instead of spending EVERY WAKING MOMENT MAKING MUSIC, ...well, I still kinda do that. lol

#nowarning...

another one bites the dust.

Not sure how I feel today. CYoung left EARLY this morning. 6:30 something. We had a GREAT time. Made some phenomenal music, had awesome conversations... balanced each other out. I am honored to have him as a friend, and he DEFINITELY gives me my flowers, as well as just be a great guy to be and have around.

This, countered by Baddie officially breaking up with me. I got her to a certain place, domestic violence and all, and she's ready to see what else is out there. I'm not mad at her. I felt her drifting for a while. Men, putting your hands on a woman makes you less sexy. No matter how much money you have, no matter your influence. So I definitely learned such as a lesson. I don't have a history of putting my hands on women, but I have been provoked by MANY women. 

I often ask myself what I'm doing wrong. Where I'm GOING wrong. In the beginning, I was HYPER-affectionate. Fall in love in the first 5 minutes. Then I started "playing games" (crying ass, bitch ass people who SWEAR I play games in the rules of engagement). It was really just casting love spells RIGHT IN FRONT of them. Once they got it, however, it was all over (by then). Now, I'm just a dirty White boy, wishing for an Ebony treat. 

Maybe I watch too much porn.

I have no options of a "replacement" for Baddie. I literally stuck my neck out for her, only to end up here in the end. I'm glad I helped her find herself, but I LOST MYself in the process. "Falcon Phoenix" were all songs TO, FOR, INSPIRED BY and ABOUT her. It's already hard as FUCK to listen to those tapes, knowing that I hurt her "as deeply" as I did. Though I blew it, we both had some growing up to do. Not every man is abusive, not every woman is worthy of #theworks.

"And you just don't get it. Keep it copasetic. And you learn to accept it. No. You're so pathetic."

#TheReturnOf...

Over your head.

As a (recording) artist, my mother always told me not to alienate my audience. Here I sit, on this toilet, guilty. Not only do I go over your head, I go out of your reach. Sha-leik said I spit lyrics that only God would understand. Well, isn't that Gospel? The argument is, if it's between me and God, I don't have to put it out. 

But it brings me such joy to provide music!

Well, if only God understands, so be it. I have long harvested and fostered my relationship with God/The Lord/Jesus, and for my complex music to be digested by The divine, I can't deny it. With hope, ANY of the three will break down what I mean, this proving their existence and vindicating me of the "psychosis" title.

PSYCHIC, maybe. But my head is in tact and in check.

To complain would be to curse a blessing. I just wish God... moreso The Lord... would show mercy. I already carry a heavy weight, AM a heavyweight, and only want to be gentle to a woman. Baddie isn't letting me NEAR as close as before. This is my fault. But for whatever Smollet reason, I can't let her go.

Stuck as a puppet.

CYoung leaves tomorrow. Gonna be a sad 4:30am. His flight leaves early. We go live shortly. Might record some new 3YM stuff, definitely gonna make beats... Gonna be one for the books. Stay tuned!

I love you, StarChasers.

I love you, friends and family.

I love you, my significant. Whoever you are.

Sorry for the Ally McBeal outro.

~Jr.~

late night triggered

I'm up. Made SEVERAL beats within the hour. New techniques, new song ideas, still the same loser. Or, should I say "ALL NU SHIT!!!!!!!!!" I'm a new being (Nubian) like Brand! lol dad bars. Anyway, I'm up and moody. CYoung has been a PLEASANT guest. The same can't be said about certain "authors" I allowed to sleep on my couch. I haven't spoken to bleep bleep in several months. And frankly, good riddance. 

My thoughts are cluttered. Meaning, there are so many things I want to say (and am saying) that... it's hard to get it all out. I don't know where to begin, and I don't know if I'll end. I have been in a renaissance of sorts here in LA. My beats have more bars that I do, however. I think that's how Snoop and Dre did it. They BLACKED in the production process, just leaving Snoop to... just be himself. 

Which, in this case, is gangsta.

I am listening to The Bipolar Sunshine. It's great, but I can tell I need to rest. Like earlier today, I was trying to find a record and was STUMPED. I had to take a nap, to reset my console. 

Who thinks video game talk is corny?

I can TURN YOU OFF with music/musician talk.

My man Billionaire Dre hooked me up with some new kicks. My LA Uptowns are COOKED. But I WILL NOT be walkin the streets on the regular with these. Special occasions of which I gotta step out to.

I might take a nap right now, as a matter of fact. Gotta get up in a few hours anyway. Prepare myself for Live @ 12!!!




The Bipolar Sunshine.

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Oh yeah! Expect it soon!!! Shouts to DJ Enjetic.

#reborn