To try and to fail.

I'm glad y'all enjoyed "Face the Music pt. 2" and "Leprocy". Those are the two most recent written joints. It wasn't as taxing as I felt it was, in that the words flowed through. I wrote it like it was an off the top freestyle (which is how I wrote The Pink Lavalamp, sans the intricate syllable play). However, it took DECADES of not writing to get me to the point where I'm comfortable writing again. Let's get into it:

One of my last written PROJECTS was "One", from 2010. I just got out of Long Beach Mental Hospital, and... I just wanted to GO. My mother and father were targets (definitely), I wasn't a big Sha-leik/Corpy fan... so much rage I stored up, and even though I did A LOT of writing when I first got institutionalized, I felt my anger was fuel enough to go in the booth and DO IT. "One" doesn't get spoken of often, but when it is, it's considered one of my best joints. I'm willing to bet it'll get a Robotnik on the StarCHaser Central Podcast, because the sound was abnormal.

As I was writing "One", it became difficult to hold the pen. Time passed, and it became impossible to sit down and write. More time passed, and I was formulating songs/rhymes in my head, and didn't have time to write them down. It was so much stuff. Nevertheless, I got out, recorded "One" and SEVERAL projects where I DIDN'T write. Somewhat due in part to S.K.E. the Heistman, but I definitely felt like it was time to exercise the same freestyle skills you hear on the radio, in the booth.

Like I said. I already know what's "missing" from the non-written projects. The hyper-usage of syllables and the witty similes. I do appreciate a good seven-syllable rhyme pattern, but I kinda outgrew it. I know y'all like it, but... it's boring to me now. Even Fabolous enhanced his "punchline" game. But if one is stuck in the need for entertainment and received such by/with me bustin' my brain for punchlines/syllables/etc., you'll say I fell off. 

Battle me then. 

I can now do what I want on the mic/with a pen. And it all boils down to, "do I want to further release music?" I already dropped StarCHaser acclaimed music on streaming. There's a few more projects I can put on streaming to quiet the stomach rumblings. But the music that makes/made me happy gets BUTCHERED by y'all, so I may just keep it all to myself. 

With that said, new music soon.

#nowarning

-so mote it be

A digger's psychobabble

Even though I know ALL my records, I still get surprised when digging through my *digital* crates. Like "Man! I have this?! Let's go!!!" or "Now I know I have this. Let's go.". I just mailed C. Young a hard drive full of ...I mean AWESOME records. He said he wants to get back into production. I figured it would be a nice gesture, since all I (really) used it for was Curtis Mayfield records. Whereas "Conviction" was a literal attempt to be stuck with Mayfield forever (know the rules of traveling when sampling), "Slave" is a reverse-psychological attempt to... if not be done with sampling this man forever, at least do more than rap over them.

The Lord blessed me with many gifts.
Not to further fuel #TheHolyWar...

All I want to say for now. 

"I found my bag, so don't even ask!"

-so mote it be

From rock bottom...

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ReeRee's on point. She nailed it all. 

I HAVE heard that you don't necessarily have to dress Goth to BE Goth, but I'm pretty hard on myself in that department.

Anyway, check this video out, and get in where you fit in.

Blessings be to ALL Goths, intergalactically.

To God be the glory.

(I guess) To Satan be the worry.

I'm around.

#CH

Satan's text

One of my StarChasers (Jason) pointed out that, because I glorified God in a recent song, The Devil may be angry with me. And likely sent one of his minions to scare me into taking it offline. This is an anecdote I can understand and appreciate.

I've been INTRICATELY direct about this, but... in #TheUnderworld, there is a Clash of Titans. A four-way dance of death, if you will. In one corner Satan, in another corner Lucifer, in another corner Beelzebub and in the 4th corner, you find The Devil. Who's real name is Damien. He's a manchild. As adult as he is and with all that he's done, he still wants to be seen as an innocent child. While Lucifer and Beelzebub are RECKLESSLY fucked up to The Devil (rape, humiliate, torment, etc.), The Devil is EQUALLY fucked up to Satan. Of whom doesn't bother anyone, but is the messiah/"good boy" of the Four Devils.

Lo and behold, I've been claiming to be Satan.

With that in the air, "If Satan asks for justice, will we all be lust-less?" is the question. I try not to hurt anyone. Shit, ask Chris Rivera, I run from my problems. But I defend myself. In fact, my unwritten music IS a form of self-defense (whether you're into it or not). The problem has been, how do I fight an enemy I cannot SEE? Ask VS Diamond, I swing at silhouettes and shadows. But that's considered insanity. And, being Satan and going to God is... bizarre. It's like tapping out. 

Fuck it, says StarChaser Tanya.
And that's where I'm at with it.

As Satan, I acknowledged the presence of God. The balance don't get more restored than that.

Follow the light, or dwell in the darkness.
Your choice.

There are eyes on you, no matter your decision.

#therebirth...

Over the edge.

I've been at this crossroads before. Sharing too much, caring too much, daring too much. Talking about the "paranormal" SA's that's been going on is at my own risk. Whether I'm the only one going through it or not. Many people have told me that my magick (Tarot, Witchcraft, Alchemy, Numerology, Astrology, etc.) is the catalyst for me going through what I am. I'm not gonna argue, but I DO believe that there is a catalyst outside of myself (and the magick) that is leading to this. 

Someone knows something.

I claim Devilish, but really I'm pretty tame. I guess because I express thoughts of a darker element, ...or allow my dark thoughts to manifest into lyrics/songs, I take responsibility for the screwed up things of the world. I can't claim Christian, because I already committed the unpardonable sin (a few of them, actually). However, I communicate with God. Maybe I'm supposed to be communicating with Jesus more. Still, niggas gotta keep they private parts (or WHATEVER that shit was) to themselves.

EVERYONE is telling me to leave magick alone. I guess it's for my own good. But, according to the literature I read, I am a Solitary Witch. Which means, predestined to practicing one's craft, ALONE, FOREVER. That's what the song "Lifealone" is about... here, let me post it:

Do I WANT to be alone? I'm leaning more towards no. I get MORE done, nevertheless. And I don't feel judged for what I do when I'm alone. I guess I got so used to being a people pleaser that I can't please myself. It's just sad that the ONLY thing that has made me happy SINCE THREE YEARS OLD is what's killing me.

Perhaps if I die via gangsta gunfire, ...let me not.

#CH

Dr. Rivera suggests...

So StarChaser Chris Rivera read last night's post and was concerned. To get to the point, he recommended that I blog about this issue. On some Ghostbusters shit. Acknowledge the spirit or being that is anally probing me while I try to sleep.

So here goes.

Without getting into intricate details, I have reason to believe I was sexually assaulted in a (now-defunct) LA studio in March of 2008. SINCE THEN, EVERYTHING in Hollywood has been an intense trigger. I feel like my memories are on display, due to intense black magic and evil trickery. From inside of me (through my behind), I feel people clawing at my brain when I try to think. They can feel me thinking, and they're trying to LITERALLY steal my ideas.

I've mentioned names. I've sent subs. I went to doctors. Lawyers. I tried not to go to the police, but I've mentioned these things when in custody. My witchcraft DEAD worked for a while, but... what happens (AGAIN...) in one's sleep?

So this time, I'm going to God. I may have my theories, but nothing beats some good ol' fashioned prayer. Here goes...:

God, in Heaven or with my brethren, I ask that you bind the spirit of rape. I don't even want to dignify it with a capital R. But it exists. It is the domineering spirit of the fallen man. I ask that you protect both me and anyone else who is plagued by such a heinous act. I ask as well that you bless me with healing. I dont want to fight anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. Bless me, if you may, according to your purpose and will. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

It's in God's hands now. So fuck whoever.

Thanks, Chris.

"Hamilton!!!"

Wrap for that psycho crap.

AT THIS VERY MOMENT... maybe not even a minute ago... I'm laying in bed, and I feel a nudge of a small object poking on my behind.

Check this out, whoever you are in the astral plane, or the Ethers or whatever, cut that shit out immediately. You are ruining my life and peace of mind. I'm tired of being immobilized by this shit. It's been going on for almost 20 years. I don't know what that shit is, but I'm blogging about it, hoping that it'll make it stop. I can't go to the police, psychiatrists say I'm crazy, so I'm taking matters into my own (shaking) hands.

smh is rape all men think about?

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That's my emotional support bear, Carothers. I lost him in Cleveland when I visited Baddie in 2021. I caught the case, the house I was in caught fire, end of story.

Kinda need him right now.

#ToGodBeTheGlory

Arsenal talk

Capitalize the *T*?

Anyway, I always talk about having a wardrobe. For performance, appearances, etc.
Well, it's ready! I have my uniform! 

You won't see me in it every day, but when you see me, I'ma be *shinin'*!

FDA stands as my BIGGEST fashion influence. EVERYONE was fly, EVEN in uniform. And NO ONE was fresher than Dr. Hodge.
lol iykyk

I gotta play the damn piano, man.

To God be the glory.

3.

A (fuckin) Dear White People blog entry.

I come from the era of the #LightningRound. Not from the game show. The shit White people fire at you to test your mental stamina. Unfortunately if you #LightningRound a cat from the hood, you can get fucked up. 
So I suppressed my whiteness for a while. STILL got called the White Boy of the block.

Damn it, I EMBRACED it.

I even told Mandalae Dre (what up Lenox!) to CALL me the White Boy. I actually appreciate it.

Well, 20 years and 2 prison bids later, I'm at a crossroads where... I don't know where I stand with White people. I'm afraid to support Trump, I'm not a fan of Biden/Harris' policies, and I didn't want to subject a CHINESE/JAMAICAN woman to the potential disgrace she may face in the office. We ALL hear about The Illuminati/Diddy parties. Why the fuck would you want to subject a minority WOMAN to such a thing? Are you that complacent? Numb? The fuck do you want?

I also speak in Ebonics, OFTEN. My vernacular is subjected to a shake down if you catch me at the wrong time. Pretty much, only New York can understand me. Cardi opened the door to such on "Love & Hip-Hop", but she may not understand the magnitude of... the shit I say.

White people get it.

Hands down.

And they STILL need it explained to them.

Cleveland was my BIGGEST introduction to White people. Cleveland White People LOVE me. And I love them. I don't want to detach from them. But I want to indulge in TheHood and learn what I can... as the white boy.

What sayeth you, White People?

Am I the #exceptionto #therule?

Or must I worry about my black skin dirt-ing my "white tuxedo"?

Holla back, folks!!!!

#toGodbetheglory

Level up.

 ...bitch.

I am having THE TIME OF MY LIFE remixing my songs on Suno. I really didn't think it could be this fun. Just experimenting. And I'll let you know when something is an AI production. But yeah, it really does take a bit of good sense to use it. I don't see TOO much AI coming from random commonfolk (shouts to all my kinfolk behind the wall...). It takes vision to execute what you want with AI.

Special shouts to Halo. He's DOOINIT with AI art.
I guess he's leaving the music to me.

Startin' FIVE!, y'all...
Definitely pray y'all travel safely.

Currently listening to "Gadzooks!" from Hamilton, Charles' "The Get Down". Slept on, but respected.

Love to my -Chasers.
Shouts to Lil Miss Baddie.

And The Sexy Ms. Jeffrey!!! 

lol

aight I'm out.

To God be the glory.

Father, I stretch my hands (pt. 2)

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A follow-up to the previous blog entry.

Please don't shoot me down.

Fuck Kirk Franklin.

#therebirth

 

Father, I stretch my hands (pt. 1)

Fuck it.
To God be the glory.

I'll blog about it in detail in a few.

But yeah.

Thank you, Father.#reborn

— The Illuminati's #FreedomFighter (@CharlesHamilton) September 1, 2025

So I posted on Twitter yesterday that I was watching Zeitgeist. Not my first time watching, but I saw something before that I wanted to confirm now. I watched it, and... all I can do is say a prayer.

I prayed for the Goths who are lost in their travels. I prayed for the hood, that they may find peace in their warfare. I prayed for the Church, that they may find justice in their teaching. I prayed for my family. I prayed for your family. I prayed for the music business. I prayed for the modeling business. I prayed for industry. 

Sinners can be saved.

Now. What does this mean for my Sixes?

They are free to do and believe whatever they want to. They are FOREVER. My mortality is questioned by the very Satan I claim to be. I'm not ready to be Satan, as much as I claim it. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be blamed for the hurt of anyone. 

Alas, I have a lot of work to do, in taking responsibility for my "devilish messages" (Kardinal).

 

George, Jack, Dilla, I'm over here. I got prayers to send/answer... man, I DO NOT feel like a 6 today. AT ALL, if I keep it funky. Not up to you to make me feel like it. And what I have to do to feel up to par is beyond my own understanding.

Maybe I'm too lazy to be a Devil.

Can you do it?

Let me see...

Special shouts to Lou aka Scotty Demon, formerly known as Lou the Human. I know I've mentioned him on here before... but yeah.... holla !!!!!!!

"Hamilton!!!"