In this moment, I am alone. My neighbor just stopped by to give me a cig. That was nice. But... I call myself being a monk. That's how I get over feeling alone and antisocial. I've read my Bible more than once, I've read my spell book more than once... Qur'an, Tarot... All that I want to know, I know and have access to.
This is between me and God.
Someone suggested that, in my 40s, I should get into ministry. And I kinda agree. I don't think it would be cool to wear Tripps in my 40s. Going hard is one thing, aging out is another. It's still SEGA forever and Goth till the end. I'm just .... barking on God.
I confessed to my sins. Repented, even. In fact, I did it just now! So what is it really? God assured me that the path I'm on is one of greatness. He insists that I rest and, as someone else reminded me, "give yourself a chance".
God, this pain I feel... It's for you. I feel your pain. You feel nothing. I took it a step further from Jesus. You feel no pain, sir! I invested in it! This pain fuels the rage. I flip the rage into a groove. The groove incites joy. Just enjoy it. No need to bite everyone's head off. Right away, at least.
For the pen freaks out there, I do write. I compose, actually. Maybe *seeing* the rhyme is what brought you joy before. Admittedly, as The All-Seeing Eye, I don't want to share my *sight* with a SOUL. Niggas know what they can suck (Ross). But I have compassion. And passion. I'll warm up to the thought of writing full songs soon.
Remember: Demevolist wasn't all the way invested until "Brooklyn Girls" took off. I was thought to be the weird one. 20 something years later, they honor the craft more than ever. Granted those are my Dawgs and I'll ride for them to no end, they didn't get the vision until it made cents...
In said loneliness, I reflect on people who feel I'm a good DJ, but I "only spin my records". My response is simply: no one else spins it. Lol!
Okay. I think I'm good being alone. Pardon me, God. SEGA, Stray Dogs, Columbine Gang, Demev, Harlem, St. Clair, South Central... I'm down, but not out.
#therebirth...
