Watching you hate.

If you haven’t noticed, the durations for my songs are around 4 minutes and 8 seconds. The instrumental is normally at 93bpms and is 96 bars long. Occasionally, I’ll just start rapping until the beat goes off, thus leaving 96 bars of BARS. As of late I’ve been writing my hooks down, so that frees my mind when it comes to recording. Still, the duration begs the question, “SEGA (4) or Nintendo (8)”?. 

Some of my listeners and personal supporters want me to switch it up. They feel the tempo gets repetitive and the format has been washed by unscrupulous actions of our forefathers and the rage of modern hip-poppers. I would agree, but there’s a method to my madness. Remember, I DJ. Still, I spoke to the spirits I conjure working at that tempo, and they agreed that variety (despite being shown with the rhythm/drum choices) is needed in order to keep MUSIC flowing.

My music from 2012-2025 was meant for a Charles Hamilton Party (as DJ’d by me or Halo).

So I slowed it down. Lord KNOWS when you’ll hear it. I have PLENTY of music in the 93 bag. And in said bag, I am prepared to go slower or faster. But since the complexity of the bars gets washed by the groove, I started making more spit-to-able beats.

Be on the lookout.

For you, my love.

Sleep well.

~Enter the Hamilton~

Poison diet

 I was doing good. God the cigarette count down to 2 a day. Then I BLACKED this weekend. Ended up with a sore throat, congested chest and VERY LITTLE voice. It must be the 20+ years of cigs, straight, no reprise outside of jail and institutional visits. Cigs are harder to give up than H, in my humble opinion. I guess because I can smoke a cig in almost any scenario, and I had to go lower than Manhattan to see about a fix.

I still ran the set list, and I’m honestly not doing too bad. To protect my high notes, the cigs must stop. At the same time, my voice is deeper and raspier than it was 20 years ago. There is a chance I’m being TOO hard on myself. Still, Dre broke it down: I spent the last 12 years smoking and producing/recording. I need the exercise and break from smoke. I’m at my neighbor’s now, about to blaze a blunt.

I got this. I’m just chronicling the glow up, to inspire anyone who’s been at a drug-induced bottom. WE CAN RISE. WE WILL RISE. I groom more and better, I’m more social, I’m more tolerant… it’s a doobie, yall. I got a good team, some StarChasers who are closer/better friends than the ones I got into the game with… the latter can be seen as a damn shame. Funny how FDA and Jimmy Iovine predicted me having such a loving “fan base”. It was because of this that I insisted my fans not be called “fans”, and came up with a name for them… named after the love me and an ex had for each other.

So far, good reviews on my latest mix (TTMH Dillatholic mix) and SINGLE, “Supernothing”. The numbers are low, the spirits are high. Leroy is kinda used to it by now. Dre is making room for such a phenomenon. I know this is new to you. lol caught myself quoting “You Don’t Know” (me, circa 2007). Feels like I’m getting back to my old self, really! I mean, what would I be without a cigarette? Mom smoked till the day she died. Dad stopped, IN CASE he died. I think we can all agree that it’s not the healthiest habit, but there’s a … sort of #cigarettetelepathy. It’s the ultimate aid in tunnel vision.

I’ll stop.

Show up.

The Hamilton Experience

On ~the~ way.

~Enter the Hamilton~

Esoteric terrorism.

All I ever asked of you, was for you to be just who you are. My reward will come. In fact, I invited you to BE my reward. As much of a friendly gesture as it is and/or was, it was more of a cry for help. I’ve had access to the finer things, yes. But you were POISED to be what makes me a snob. BOTH of you.

The finer things, the higher life… both redefined by YOU (not the aforementioned). I had less than you, yet you made it okay. I’ve come to sacrifice A LOT, in the name of measuring up to you. I know you wouldn’t want me to sacrifice myself for the sake of mastery of expression, but… our bond can shake the heavens. And though I already shared a similar bond with our mutual friend and collaborator, it was you who led to the great explosion within me. This explosion, being what the rest of the world has come to know me by.

You two have come between me and EVERYTHING LIVING THING. And I have nothing to show for it. Well, I got music, but… that’s where YOU come in. I hope I caused a patch of gray hair on your head, because you’ve had me on the ropes since day one. GRANTED the two I speak of ARE OUR IDOLS, the 2 I speak of is my best friend. I am of the mind to let the two equate to 3 each and, together, make 6. That would mean my 2 would… complete me.

And no one would be ready for that.

Yeah. Everyone sucks.

I guess I’m just asking for YOU TWO to be a bit more understanding.

For YEARS, I was my own best friend. To have an older multiple of myself (Columbine Gang!) as my closest pal is a sweet dream AND a beautiful nightmare. “What if you feel my pain? And… what if you hear my thoughts? Yeah.” I can’t trust myself already, due to how prone I am to suicide. I don’t want you to go. You don’t want me to go. Stalemate.

Still, you two cross my mind and heart, more often than not. It could be a new four! It could be more than One. 

I just know that… to defend one is to offend the other.

Let’s get it together, forever.

~Enter the Hamilton~

InfantMalice.gpt

Infant of the Malice

Darkness → New identity

Something is born from malice. The emphasis is on origins, environment, and the forces that shape a person.

Malice of the Infant

New identity → Darkness

Something malevolent belongs to the infant. The emphasis is on the person's own nature, immaturity, or capacity to cause harm.

When you turn your pain into your identity, do you eventually transcend the pain — or do you become responsible for keeping it alive?

^
^
^
expect them.

~Enter the Hamilton~

Gem Class Hero

^
^
^
HUGE and SPECIAL shouts to StarChaser and YouTube user Sonic Haley for finding and posting this on YouTube. I think I lost the original files during a fight with Boe in 2012. Long story short, I felt I needed more DIRECT support from him, while he was giving me the deepest hood love he could. Christina was there, Boe's (now) ex was there. I think we argued over how much force is in these beats. He was like they were "too smooth" to be as rough as they are. I was like they're too "rough" to be considered smooth. Looking back, it was all love. I guess... I was just paranoid.

Check the beats out tho! Made on an MPC500, given to me from a Harlem StarChaser. I since gave it to TheSilentPartner VK for him to express himself on an MPC (he BLACKED on it, btw). Gave him the expansion card with The 0fficial Charles Hamilton Drum Kit... YEARS before I dropped it on Reddit.

Whatever.

"It's for YOU!"
-J Dilla, "THe $"

George Spits, wya-o?!!!

~Enter the Hamilton~

Matches

Spark the fire, why dontcha?

It appears that me using my musicianship to communicate… which I’ve been doing since early 10th grade (thank you, Dilla)… is pissing people off. They call it matching energy nowadays. Basically, I embody what you last said/sang into my chord progression/tone in conversation. I end up reflecting your entire being. It’s dangerous, no lie. But it’s kinda the only way I can relate to ANYONE.

Without it, EVERYONE can choke on an oxtail bone.

Mom didn’t encourage it per se, but she noticed that I was getting in trouble for social reasons, not behavioral. I guess in the end it was all behavioral. But mom, I was exhibiting #symbolism, as I later learned I was doing. And in later years, I learned more about my pianist state of affairs with conversation.

Regardless, it was in 5th grade that my therapist suggested I read “The Power of Positive Thinking”. So I guess I drew from there, too.

I don’t wanna say “(don’t) grow up to be like me”. I also don’t want you to “be just like me”. I can only provide you with MY jewels of development (pause) and hope you find the light for yourself. It’s tricky. I want to heal the world, but to make it you must be broken. If you’re lucky, you’ll be provided a healing of sorts. But you must be a vessel for #thepowers to push “the future” forward. Who am I to disagree?, other than the precious rebel to/for #thepowers themselves…

I didn’t steer you wrong. I also didn’t tell you everything. I’m looking out for you. Besides, I know what key you’re in. My ear has decayed a bit, but I can still find you in the scales. Even when you don’t sing what you JUST sang (the same way).

I have a lot on my mind, so expect me back later.

-CzH-

#phenomenal

Today, as it seems

Intunation.

In-tuned nation.

Anyway, here I am in this South Central apartment, reflecting on how I got here and the gumption required to continue to exist. I am very depressed right now. Yes I have friends… I just got off a FaceTime call w Lou. He didn’t say anything to trigger me, so relax. I just feel as though I have no one (at this moment) to share the glory of music with.

I’m over here binging on Sun Ra (don’t bite, you bitch ass niggas) and Pete Rock (start off with HIM before you get into production). I literally have been having conversations with records/producers/artist that inspire me. I complete my solar mission, according to Ra. Pete calls me the NEW Baby Par. He really said ORIGINAL, but niggas got egos and memories.

YIKES! Chris Rivera just DIVINELY reached out. God blessed me with his friendship.

I guess I can close it here… thanks Chris!

Love you, Lou.

And that’s a lot, because…

“Music is the only love…”

I cracked the code.

~Enter the Hamilton~

bestfriend shittogo

 I am blessed to have a Rockin’ friendship base with some of the most talented, righteous… like GODS. Of them all (and there are few), my BEST friend is Halo. We connect on the exact level I strived to reach BEFORE I met him. I mostly say what he feels, and he mostly PLAYS what I feel. We have a bond, and anyone fi test shall face DOOM.

May this pic serve as the innocence of our friendship.

Now.

I have an another friend. Pretty new. I reached out to HIM, just to show support on his music. He is a true lyricist from Staten Island (I’m sorry about BK Girls, Shaolin!; let me make it up to you through working with my dude), and his work reminds me of early Em. At least the single I reached out to him about.

Chris Rivera got us back in touch while I was locked up. We’ve been in constant communication (albeit times we go into Scorpio mode), and I can honestly say he’s one of my best friends. I don’t want to make a list of friends. Sciryl knows I love him, Kesed is laid back about our bond, Nate is chillin, Sha and I are rebuilding. 

But I am CONSTANTLY inspired by Halo and LOU FROM PARADISE (Lou the Human, Big Lou, Scotty Demon). 

I just speak to Lou everyday. 

And I love it. We were signed to Interscope at different periods of our lives, so we BOTH know the game. He was, as it turns out, a StarChaser. I don’t throw it in his face… like… these last few years kinda made it hard to accept friendship (and romance). I really couldn’t trust niggas at 649. Same with 321. Both are halfway houses btw. Don’t get me wrong. I made a GOOD friend with Joel (Mendoza). We bonded over Satan, Rock & Roll and weed. He just well into a drug abyss and can’t be reached.

Shit breaks my heart.

I don’t have to worry about Lou getting lost on drugs. He got HELLA swag. And I don’t have the capacity to be egotistical with him. He comes up with GREAT ideas and concepts. So many that I have to filter what I use, and what would be good for others/him.

Lou, Halo, you ain’t gotta worry about me being wack. I’m here. For you, for me, for us. I would LOVE to you two to link. I’d love for Lou to meet my people. Shit, Rivera, Andrew, Chimp1, Dalvyn, Enjetic, R. O. (formerly Hiero)… The Hamilton Quazar is LOADED with love. You guys are priority here.

^

^

^

We’ll get a flick together one day.

Until then, welcome to my sick, sad little world.

We’re the 3 best friends that HAMILTON could have…!

-so mote it be

Paid In Full

 

^

^

“I cop bud and bottles just to follow the #hoodrules; put your niggas on, and you a good dude!”

-Charles Hamilton, “Honesty Box”

I can honestly say that I provided a good time for my closest friends. They were a support system when I needed, they didn’t enable, we built/created together… and even when shit got “ugly” (COOP!), we still formed like Voltron and blasted minds.

Not in the picture (physically) is Kesed. But, … and I’m certain I blogged about them before… but the man in gray is Halo and the man in black is Sciryl (pronounced Skerr-REAL; lyrics, backwards). The four of us are the most watched and most emulated by …anyone of whom’s art you enjoy. Sciryl is a Hip-Hop legend. Halo is the downtown king. Kesed is the NECESSARY DOSAGE OF JAMAICA. 

You’re reading my blog.

And even though we didn’t make it professionally, I repaid Demevolist for every time they hooked me up with a blunt or got me a bite to eat. Things are kinda weird between us now. It might come down to the very graduating classes were each we’re in. When I got to FDA. HchO, Swiss, B/A (known as Versatile at the time) and most of the class of ‘04 were running the studio. I was ‘05, Yung Nate and Sha-Leik were ‘06. I ONLY got in the studio because I played piano well. Like, played radio songs on the piano, VERY well. H didn’t think I could rap in the beginning.

Strange how it turns out that way…

yeah.

Me & Sha, in FDA, ‘06.

Dead a GOOD 20.

Like shit didn’t move fast at all.

We SUFFERED through them shit.

HchO & I, Nov. 10th, ‘08.

Damn, bro.

I’m sure it’s something I said that makes it weird for us to talk now. And I have (literal) receipts of you being wack (as we say). Doesn’t mean I didn’t and don’t love you. We’re just on 2 different paths, and I need to be my own HchO (in my life) in order to TRULY be a boss. You showed me a lot, though. So, if anything, thank you for being a great teacher.

Nate to the Yung.

Keepin it basic, we see each other.

Keeping it long winded, I hope to see you at SOBs.

Kinda just in my bag right now. Thinking about what a real nigga is. My friends don’t have to worry about me holding them down. My history is self-evident.

I guess I just had to prove it to myself.

~Enter the Hamilton~

Happy birthday, Kesed.

!!!, but .

.

Lines in the sand

Last night, I met a long time StarChaser and devout MC. Alfred Banks. GREAT guy, man. I first got FORMALLY introduced to him through Mickey Factz, who introduced him as a long time -Chaser who just needed a bit of guidance. We hit it off QUICKLY on the phone, and continued our bond to FaceBook, where we first met (I knew him as Lyriqss da Lyricist; not sure if I spelled it right). I remember posting him on one of my blogs. He definitely caught my attention, and I was (and am) on the sidelines rooting for him.

Many StarChasers know the following: there are low-vibrational people out there who pose as a StarChaser to get the conversation going, but it ends up being more about them and what THEY like, versus building an actual bond. I may take my time, but I always go back and listen to StarChaser-and-StarChaser related music. It’s always a matter of time and mental space. The way StarChasers influence me is, what in my content can they not relate to?. Over the years, I have been asked to not talk about incest and to be less homophobic. As real as both planes of thought are (to me and BOTH sides of my family), I understand that it is painful to hear being talked about AT ALL, nonetheless in the contexts I use.

I do have to check my temper when it comes to the f*g word, and Tomorrow is here (hi, Meg), so I’m on eggshells until we meet on the surface. I don’t want my hate to blow up in her face. Also, I’m not a hater of homosexuality. I hate how men aren’t accountable for their actions, and women end up permanently scarred because of it. I have some takes that’ll get me cancelled, and no man is ready to fess up, so I’ll chill here.

Just know that I view Alfred Banks as my son (with love), and I’ll stop at nothing to see that he is cool, calm and collected about being an elite level rapper.

I may have said too much.

Love you, Banksy!

Keep on dooinit!!!

That’s a U2 album cover, by the way.

You kinda can’t pause white people. They dead do it.

#CH

Contact Sport(s)

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A post shared by mclyte (@mclyte)

Seeing Lyte in a Browns jersey was definitely not something I banked on. But it's a heartwarmer. I kinda been under a rock with #whatsgoingon, but I am aware that Lyte is to be inducted in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Words cannot express how proud of her I am. If anyone earned their spot in #theHall, it's definitely MC Lyte. 

Sad, because she often goes underrated in the Female MC/MC GOAT conversation.

SHE put The Neptunes on ("I Can't Make A Mistake", 1998).

aight.. trigger warning. I don't want to spark whatever ain't lit.
Just know I'm watching, "niggas and bitches!" (Pharrell Williams. "When The Last Time")

I love you, Lyte.

When the time is right, we'll link again. 

We just have #proverbial time zones between us.

I'm on your side.

~#~

 

*virtually requested by Michael Roach* Couldn't Love (mixdovr) 0fficial lyrics

 

(hook)

I live my life so wrong for her.

I told my life so long for her.

So, I made this song for her.

Could you look at me and real-ize what you see?

(verse 1)

I was born a star. Maybe not a porn star, not where it's warm, y' all... but I ended up living in the west. To live and die in LA. Where do you rest? I lay my head... basically on the base that's fed. Staying ahead of the game could leave you banging your head. You may have to bleed. And it's the same for me. Staying away from where I need to be, to be safe for who loves me. Like not ever going to the club, or playing and requesting "Jesus Walks". I need to walk and talk. I need my thought to get across cross for y' all. Losing my mind, because I'm using this dime's juices inside.

(hook)

I live my life so wrong for her.

I told my life so long for her.

So, I made this song for her.

Could you look at me and real-ize what you see?

(verse 2)

I am a filtered killer. Still, I'm as real as Dilla. I exist too. He's who I listen to. Listen to him late at night, just to get the groove. Got me spitting to this instrumental. All grown. Star show. Awesome. I'm still alive, but where's the broad, yo? Where did you all go? My only audience. It's one. Applause for the accordion. I'm done. But I' ma keep grooving, because the groove is right and I can see her moving and soothing what knives are in my back. Swimming as I walk. Women want to talk. Giving them my thoughts. All I give, no cash. Can't hold back. I got my own stash.

(hook)

I live my life so wrong for her.

I told my life so long for her.

So, I made this song for her.

Could you look at me and real-ize what you see?

I got sins in my pocket, The Bible in my mind. Thoughts of my father standing back, watching me shine. Where my man's at? My mother should stand back and say there's no other. She like Danny Glover when getting a cab; she can't do it, so she need me basically. But I'm a black man. They afraid of me. And I ain't even in NYC. I see the city want me back. I can vibe with them, too. This is like the end  of any guy who ends The View. Meaning killing me. My eyes show the world and it's still with me. I'm feeling this bea.t I really am feeling like a silly man. But a million bucks like Milwaukee. With a broad (abroad) on the walkie talkie.

(hook)

I live my life so wrong for her.

I told my life so long for her.

So, I made this song for her.

Could you look at me and real-ize what you see?

^
^
^
Recorded lonely at... a halfway house that changed my life.

!Jr.!

Not Another Love Song (original title censored) 0fficial lyrics

(hook)

I don't wanna write you a love song.

But you're asking for it.

And you need one.

See?

I 

don't wanna write you a love song.

And I'm telling you it's

making and breaking this.

If you're

on your way, 

then 

FUCK writing a love song.

(verse 1)

I feel as if I just committed blasphemy. If you listen after me, there's no reason to listen to anything more than the bleeding of your lips when you kissing it. You cause the wound, you ought to assume you know how the other species would feel. There's only one other species if you're real. And even in the species unconcealed... keeping it real? It's still the same thing. Feel it in your brain you're numbing. Novocaine keeps drumming. Feel insane. I'm feeling sane while I feel insane. Keep coming. Keep cumming. I ain't done with it. Now I got an attitude, 'cause you keep dialing my number and I'm coming with. I'm upset, you're obsessed, I'm obsessed, you're upset...

(hook)

I don't wanna write you a love song.

But you're asking for it.

And you need one.

See?

I 

don't wanna write you a love song.

And I'm telling you it's

making and breaking this.

If you're

on your way, 

then 

FUCK writing a love song.  

(verse 2)

I never gave it to anyone the way I gave it to you. Feel special. Do you feel special? Voodoo! N-o. No! You ruin it because of what you know. No it's not you, it's me. You gotta go. And as you leave, I conceit myself. Hard to believe in myself, 'cause I don't believe myself. I've been calling you. You're not on delete just yet. When it's time to go, you're obsessed I'm upset... but you're obsessed because of my obsession. Upset at my obsession, I gotta get it in. And with the wind is you. You walk off. Got the neck, got the (top), ...got whatever you want. It's kind of hot. Kinda (sex). Obsessed and upset, because this road has been traveled down many times like Disco. 54. On the road there. No one there. No fear. No care. Oh. You're here. Punch in the face.

(hook)

I don't wanna write you a love song.

But you're asking for it.

And you need one.

See?

I 

don't wanna write you a love song.

And I'm telling you it's

making and breaking this.

If you're

on your way, 

then 

FUCK writing a love song.

(verse 3)

I told Sway "I can't keep falling in love", and he keeps playing as if he's Jay Dee. Now he's the Game Breaker like 2k (or a game away), but everybody thinking I'm crazy. Lately, if I provide him with the white in the room that I would assume would be the guy's doom, he'd be like "why didn't you and I look to the other side of the room?" Interception, like "I didn't choose but your eyes wanna view what I wanna do when I rhyme. And I'm not in a booth nor am I in a booth in my mind. And third eye's in my mind and I'm viewing it. And got my brain. Damn. You trying to take my brain. Now I'm out my brain, keep it! Now I gotta Ewing it. I'm doing it! Now what I'm saying is... not as lucrative. But lucrative for me would be removing my heart. And what you did for me, what you did for me, and so many of which I view and can depart at this moment, thank you. Let this be golden. But bear in mind piss is golden with no water. I need my music. And a daughter.

(hook)

I don't wanna write you a love song.

But you're asking for it.

And you need one.

See?

I 

don't wanna write you a love song.

And I'm telling you it's

making and breaking this.

If you're

on your way, 

then 

FUCK writing a love song.

I want to be able

to reveal to my daughter the right kind of guy to be with. 

And I want to be the right kind of guy to be with.

And

MUSES

are very expensive.

You ain't even got it to pay it, baby.

Let it be what it is.

Thank you, FDA.
Been in love for 30+.
Known you 22.

The love is so real.

Thank you DJ Jazzy Jeff.

One year I'll make it to the playlist retreat.

Columbine Gang, muhfugguh!!!

~#~