I saw you at the red light. I started to cross, but the street lights are rigged where I live. You signaled for me to go ahead, but I stayed right where I stood.
I can't allow you to passively have power over me. Or to use your power over me, passively. Yes, I still care about you. Yes, you still cross my mind. But you had me in a trance. A spell, if ever I knew (of) one. I had to learn how to live and love without you.
And I did very well for myself!
People ask me all the time, "what has magic done for you?". They think magic has caused me pain of some sort. Magic has been what keeps me happy for the last 15 years, almost exclusively and specifically. Music is still the only love. But Magic, Medicine, Ministry and Money come first these days. Music is the vessel of expression.
All in alphabetical order.
As you can see, I brought some purpose and definition to my HIGHLY musical, yet overall boring-ly "perfect" life. I must admit, though, I am very lonely. I am spending my life alone, as I predicted over an Apollo Brown beat. Living my life, alone, WITH YOU WATCHING. I may limit some of this watching y'all are doing in the near future. But suicide is out of the question, no matter how depressed I get.
My StarChasers, love me or hate me, love 'em or hate 'em, are good enough reason (or excuse) to not claim my own life. If they truly do hate me (like my intuition insists they do), they wouldn't drive me to the grave. They would drive me to let them know how I feel about them, in articulate choice words with contexts ranging from The Bible to The Laveyan Satanist Bible.
Sharp contrast. But I will not be dead at the hands of a phony StarChaser's Twitter fingers.
In contrast, if they love me as much as they SAY they do, I would be considered the asshole I feel I am living by taking my own life. If I've helped you heal, why hurt you by killing me?
I'm here now, stranger. No thanks to you. Despite how much we have in common. We are poison for each other. And I'm sure she'd agree (you know who you are).
Die nameless, as I've already made you famous.
#beseated
