I was thinking about the past 20 years today. I really put my foot in my music... as well as my mouth. I claimed I would never use again, so long as I have StarChasers. I can honestly say that I broke that promise in 2017. I was "little child runnin' wild" back then, man. I felt First Access/Republic didn't care anymore, despite the love they had shown me in the beginning. I took SEVERAL creative backseats to people who were nowhere near as talented (or experienced) as I. I worked DAMNED hard at making my SOLO, SELF-PRODUCED music greater than The Lakes (that you're used to).
I don't wanna use again, man. I don't wanna have to make an audible diary about going down that rabbit hole. Please don't ask me for a Lavalamp. The Black one hurt. I didn't want to dig into my emotions for Jamarris and Toya. Sha-leik and I deaded our differences. My gay friend Chris is darker than can be mentioned in songs. It felt good to mention Sonic on Lavalamp-production, but I don't think it fits. I could be being tough on the album/myself. Still, I put my foot in my mouth, because I vowed to not sell myself to fall in love.
Baddie was living in Cleveland with me at that time.
Another toe in my mouth was the whole "me and another man will never get it on!". And I'm ashamed of it, despite the glory I received from it. Believe it or not. The guy was my gay friend Chris's boyfriend, ironically named Chris. He passed away a few years ago. His name was Chris Smith. My gay friend Chris's last name is Elston. I'll spare you the gory details, but you can figure it out.
For all those in the lifestyle, make sure there are NO CONSEQUENCES before you continue. Innocence only goes so far in the fast life.
I've noticed that there is a bond between myself (Charles H., Jr.) and ALL CHRISTOPHERS. A fallen Christopher goes by the name of Chris. Just to put all Chrises in my life on notice. But yeah. Chris (...) is a huge supporter of me. He also is worthy of HIGH PRAISE AND ACCLAIM, for all that he (...) does. Everyone from Chris Jericho to Chris Rivera to Chris Lighty (RIP). Outside of Sciryl and Halo, my only comp is Chris.
Ask DJ Premier.
Again. I don't wanna use. There's nothing but ex-and-current junkies in my building. All waiting to burn some rock w me. I can't, y'all. I get depressed just lookin' at 'em. At least I did my dirt in private. Of course I would walk the streets high. But that's different from pullin' out a Pookie pipe in broad daylight and fuckin' around. The temptation is so great. But I know I am of a higher tier. Shit, they know it. They just wanna be around for the glory.
Unrelated, my FDA brothers (Yung Nate, Paris, Sha-leik) and I are cooking up a reunion tape of sorts. Through Black the Beast (Tyrone), I got back in touch with Swiss (JMeans). My favorite rapper of Demevolist (B/A was FIRE, but Swiss was more war ready). I was biased towards Show, because I had him under my wing. And Yung Nate is the twin, so it is what it is. Swiss was dead like my uncle. We had a pleasant conversation.
Well, the KFC is getting cold (they accept EBT now!), so I'ma wrap it up here. Just know that I identify myself as the very slapstick loser you've come to poke fun at. If you see me as a genius, let me know so I can make the proper adjustments.
Ya dig?
#reborn
