Over the edge.

I've been at this crossroads before. Sharing too much, caring too much, daring too much. Talking about the "paranormal" SA's that's been going on is at my own risk. Whether I'm the only one going through it or not. Many people have told me that my magick (Tarot, Witchcraft, Alchemy, Numerology, Astrology, etc.) is the catalyst for me going through what I am. I'm not gonna argue, but I DO believe that there is a catalyst outside of myself (and the magick) that is leading to this. 

Someone knows something.

I claim Devilish, but really I'm pretty tame. I guess because I express thoughts of a darker element, ...or allow my dark thoughts to manifest into lyrics/songs, I take responsibility for the screwed up things of the world. I can't claim Christian, because I already committed the unpardonable sin (a few of them, actually). However, I communicate with God. Maybe I'm supposed to be communicating with Jesus more. Still, niggas gotta keep they private parts (or WHATEVER that shit was) to themselves.

EVERYONE is telling me to leave magick alone. I guess it's for my own good. But, according to the literature I read, I am a Solitary Witch. Which means, predestined to practicing one's craft, ALONE, FOREVER. That's what the song "Lifealone" is about... here, let me post it:

Do I WANT to be alone? I'm leaning more towards no. I get MORE done, nevertheless. And I don't feel judged for what I do when I'm alone. I guess I got so used to being a people pleaser that I can't please myself. It's just sad that the ONLY thing that has made me happy SINCE THREE YEARS OLD is what's killing me.

Perhaps if I die via gangsta gunfire, ...let me not.

#CH