I addressed you (anonymously) on my X page, but for all I went through in the last 15+ years, I deem it necessary to continue.
For the longest time, I fought for the attention and affection of a big-named-yet-nameless relative. If only to vindicate his private hazing of me. It was when it impacted my MUSIC that I went psycho. I already didn't trust him because of how I was introduced to him and the circumstances surrounding it. His music would APPEAR to value me, but it was littered with talk of his own worth and aspirations of such.
Mom and I were poor.
So when I picked up the pen, he and his quasi-wealthy ass became the target of my "generic" punchlines. I fucked around and achieved a level of success, in spite of an industry-ending incident. He comes around, and convinces grandma and uncle that he needs to be there to protect me. Subsequently, he moves in, and proceeds to clean house.
Only problem was, there wasn't much to be cleaned.
HchO took the MPC (I used to master ThisPerfectLife), Saintvil took the Jordan's and Penny's Pharrell bought for me, Woody lived with us rent free until dude asked him to leave (THROUGH ME)... I wasn't allowed to smoke weed (supposedly my lawyer and the label wanted to drug test me; never happened)... original music was remixed, much to the dismay of said relative who was "personally invested"...
It just... was a bunch of bullshit.
Now, I'm not marred by any of this. I'm still making music on a high level, as you can see I'm still blogging, my faith and belief in the alien race SEGA is stronger than EVER before... I just remember vividly what the streets did to me. I wasn't looking for trouble then, not looking for it now. But I was at war with this man. Still, in the midst of this war, I realized something: for every time I go off on him for free, he doesn't mention or acknowledge me and gets paid for it! Breaking down the disproportion would give it all away. But I been giving it all away to break down the disproportion.
"However, God help me."
#CH
