I am in the midst of a horrible comedown.
I hate to admit it, but when I make and release music at a high rate, it's usually a sign of mania.
Enjetic (Danny) doesn't help.
Call me a coward or a true music connoisseur, but I can't and don't call him wack.
I see him for the more than who he is on the surface, and that's why I put up with his abuse.
And the abuse is in many forms.
In my defense, I make him sound good.
Same with about 99% of the people I work with, with 100% of the 99 being no names.
When they eventually get the spotlight they are searching for, they realize I was right the whole time and either sheepishly try to return to my inner corcle or get more disrespectful.
I am given the option to deny their return or contemplate homicide.
Overall, the "fuck you" they deserve is in boldface.
I called VSDiamond today, and told her to "hit me with" the abuse of how bad of a person I am.
Just to use as fuel for suicide.
And she obliged.
She has no reason to be the beacon of light to make me stop.
So I told her I wanted her to "hit me with" it so I can commit suicide.
Eventually, the intensity stopped, and I was able to meekly ask for her to order me McDonald's through GrubHub.
And she obliged.
I have no reason to believe #Baddie isn't sowing her wild oats in California.
That's what "Jr.'s Gothic Bachelor Party" is all about.
Fuck you all.
You make me feel guilty about being suicidal, yet drive me to it.
Why suicide?
I dont want to be in jail for the rest of my life around some dirty dick, unintelligent scumbags who likely know me from XXL and Briana.
I am not in a gang, so I have no friends.
I can trust no female, outside of the --AlienInvasion.
And even then, my rose-tinted shades have scratches on the frames.
I am saving my own life by writing this.
I don't even remember which blog this is.
I don't want to hate myself.
Or anyone.
But that's what is happening.
My hate f...... in GENERAL, is pushing me forward.
I am a man who listens and gives wisdom.
That gets me no respect.
So fuck you all.
And now, I miss you.
I know what happens in death.
And 3-4 years ago, it would've been a peaceful eternity.
Now, I'll be more hurt dead than I am alive.
But...
Charles Hamilton saved my life.
Charles Hamilton is saving my life.
Charles Hamilton is saving my life, right now.
Thanks, CH.
YOU ARE OWED THE WORLD, AND THEN SOME.
I earned a gift for myself, before my 33rd birthday, in my 33rd year.
That makes me feel good.
But what's a gift if you had to earn it?
It was mine to begin with.
!
.
I gotta pee.
Maybe that's the disdain within.
I might get a cup of coffee shortly.
I'll listen to some forbidden CH music on the way.
I am saving my own life by writing this.
#boyohboy
[don't threaten me, Danny; Im not your enemy]
