This post will be more of a stream of thought, with the title being the centered focal point.
Somewhat as usual, but this one will be more sporatic.
I know God exists. I know The Devil exists. I believe The Devil either WAS my cousin who raped me or possessed him. Still, I've come to count on The Devil. I'm almost too humble to go to God. God knows my heart, so She (1) doesn't mind me calling Him She and (2) knows that counting on The Devil doesn't mean to worship him.
I've come across MANY childhood rape victims in my generation. Male and female. Well, God put it on my heart to tell you guys that you are not alone, and you are loved. As attractive as The Devil can be to us, he is still the enemy because he wants our joy and our soul. Some of us gave in and gave it all to him. I wish them all happiness. But God is here for us. No matter what we have done.
Family, I've committed blasphemy, suicide, AND homosexual acts. I'm, on paper, headed to Hell. I thought that was the path I wanted to go on. In fact, I'm sorta still on that path. But I can feel God. I can feel God moving. I've been blessed to have family in my life, I have blessed friends, I HAVE FANS(!)... the only thing I need a blessing with is... well, 2 things. I want to be able to make firm decisions for myself for one, and second, I need a financial blessing. Money is hard to come by these days in music, especially when you're doing something new and different. I'll put my ego to the side for a bit and say, though my influence is everywhere, my numbers don't reflect it. That by itself can be a blessing, in many and subtle ways.
The Devil distracts. The Devil deceives. The Devil coerces. The Devil is handsome in the eyes of the people he wants to seduce. The Devil is ugly to those who know his tricks. And though he has FEW tricks, he uses them well.
All my Goths, the light isn't that far away. The darkness is infinite. Don't just stand there stagnant and dormant. Fight for your right to be an individual!
With that said, I can't fight the urge to carve. Pray for me.
#comma
