Since the "Junkiewow" post, I've gotten feedback from many people saying they will not be supporting my habit, thus no longer sending me funds. They also say that they are disappointed and have less respect for me, saying that my "relationship" with drugs is "bullshit".
Look. I can't tell you where to go. I am lucky that you spent time listening, and I'm glad you heard me out (or in this case, read what I had to say). I have no defense. All I know is I have an abundance of freedom after 2 years of being locked down (granted on the outside), and I've never had to fight depression this hard. I used out of depression. That's why I call my addiction(s) a relationship. I feel more charismatic whilst on a substance. Except weed. I'm definitely deadpan when I smoke.
Still, don't judge me. I didn't judge you. At all. And you hide behind "facts", so there's nothing to judge you on. Just know that I am very perceptive. So much so, I try to dull my senses with narcotics.
But it's okay! I asked them to up my psych meds, so I will be very under control. Subdued, even. And nothing will affect me. I'm not saying you turned your back on me. You're not even a fallen StarChaser. You just have high hopes for me and I let you down. My only prayer is that you never long for something without knowing what it can do to you.
I haven't been going live in the new year. I don't feel personable enough. I might go on in a little while. Like after this post. I just don't feel it anymore. I just wanna make music and watch your reaction to it. I LOVE the StarChaser Central podcast. They thoroughly dissect every project, and offer INFORMED OPINIONS. It's been a while since I've seen those...
Aight... without further ado, I'm gonna go live.
See you there!!!
