Innerdrive

 

Shout out to my man Smarty. One of the FEW industry people I can trust/count on. We linked this past weekend. Chopped it up, brainstormed... I forgot how much of a genius he is. He dead takes his time to talk. It can frustrate, if you don't know better.

We may get into that point in a few.

But it was with Smarty that I came to the following conclusion:

I'm a recording artist!

Recording artists don't perform. Think The-Dream, PinkPantheress, Crooked I, Hi-Tek... they MAY take the stage, but their sole purpose is to inspire performing artists (almost to the very performance factor) and make, what can be blasphemously considered, #drafts.

I know HOW to perform. I have performed everywhere from The Apollo Theatre to Glastonbury. The meds/diagnosis make it VERY difficult to be around big crowds. I first noticed this during my 2015 SOBs set. Not only was I not confident in the music I was performing, I didn't like what I had on (which made me feel like I looked like a poser) and I couldn't see a SOUL in the audience. 

All I wanted to do was go to my home studio and OD on the mic/ProTools.

I would say, since... 2018, I been OBSESSED with JUST recording/producing/mixing. I did a pop-up performance with Enjetic in 2019, and sold out a show in Baltimore w/ DJ Nick. It's just honestly not as thrilling as it used to be. And yeah, the anxiety is real. 

For some reason, when I DO receive love, it makes me angry and violent. I've done my homework (both online, library and within), and I see that such is a formality of heroin. 
The more I reflect on that drug, the less I like myself.

And the meds FORCE me to LOVE myself.

Big difference between LIKE and LOVE.

And chemicals determine/tilt the balance of such.

For me, at least.

DEFINITELY blogging to 2Pac right now.

Wow.

This is what journalism is supposed to be.

Alas, the song is only 4 minutes long.

And fame is 15.

So you only really get 11 minutes, when you're a performing artist.

The better you perform, the longer each minute seems.

But would those minutes even matter without...

The Recording Artist?

Back to Smarty.

I learned a lot about self-expression through watching him. He keeps you engaged, while he's taking his time to give you 100% pure knowledge and wisdom. Expect to hear more about Smarty Arty on this blog.

And his partner, Jen!

I met Jen (and Smarty) at Record Plant Studios in LA. They were and are some of the most genuine, wise, intelligent... BEAUTIFUL people I met in this business. 

Listen. No one's hands are clean in the business. Not even mine. But the filth on the palms of me, Smarty and Jen come from the skulls we've crushed to get TRUE equality in the business. BEYOND race. ABOVE class. OUTSIDE of sex. 

P

RO
FESS
ION
AL
ISM!!!

More to come. But my purpose is to be #TheUltimateRecordingArtist. If I am rewarded to be such, I can reward The Last of the StarChasers with my presence, live.

"...quite like I did it!"