I had a great conversation with my man Lou (again). In it (to make it brief), he said "never let your inner child die". I smiled, yet as I started to reply, I checked to see if I still had my inner child.
Nope.
Murdered by the hands of Scooter.
I started to bark on him for... what I felt was his "allusion" to me being "too grown", but I paused. As I paused, I felt an avalanche of emotions. Ranging from rage, to depression, to hate, to ...I don't know. I just felt that all these years of me building myself up was a cover-up for (me) not doing anything about my inner child being dead.
Now, I can't just run up in Scooter's house and BODY him. Like, on a technical side. He's in prison. And I'm sure my success is a big enough thorn in his side (though last I heard, he told his mom/my aunt to tell me that he loves me and is proud of me). But yo. My inner child comes into play every day I make music. Really, my inner child comes out in every song I don't (at least halfway) write physically.
Lou and I hung up, still on good terms (remember; the above dialogue was inner), and I immediately went to work trying to revitalize my inner child. I expelled my spirit into my Universe, let my Spirit drift, and... wouldn't ya know it? I found him! Sitting in mom and dad's Cleveland apartment (Shaker Heights), wearing a 3-piece suit, reading The Cleveland Call & Post.
Truth is, I always wanted to be a grown up. I As I got older, I wanted to be a mature rock star. Drugs would be involved, but only amongst family (shooting up with my wife, smoking weed with my children, doing LSD with my band). I ALMOST had the vision with Simone Porter, but she had different plans.
Jeeeez.
Before I go into a rant about how the women in my life have all eroded at my inner child, I'll move on.
I am currently bumping Large Professor's catalogue. To me, he's hip-hop's best kept secret. So many jewels being dropped her. Definitely taking notes. As a young CH, I always wanted to battle him. 3 rounds. We would rhyme over our beats, whether in battle verses or just flow exhibitions. Simply because I wasn't outside when he was, and I felt my sound and style were superior. This is a very humbling experience. Without him, there's no CH (according to the backlog of music I'm catching up to). We often mention Pete Rock and DJ Premier, but... just off this experience alone, LargePro belongs in MANY conversations.
^
#DrKiwi
#TheBlackDrRobotnik
#cHam
