Let me not gaslight you. I have been fatiguing on the mic. Well, maybe not fatiguing, but ...just more relaxed than usual. The lyrics are STILL intense, but it's like a slow injection of a fatal dosage of fent. I haven't recorded anything new since "Speaking of Witch...". It's a SOLID album. In fact, it's a good note to leave on.
It's not that I don't have bars anymore.
I'm just passed the point of which bars are effective.
I have been rapping about going out and finding certain niggas to scrap. I have been avoiding talking about *drKiwi*, because the whole case is fucked up. I know myself, and I know my rage. Knowing such is why I want to take the rage I took out on her, on HIM. I definitely feel like I need one male to just pummel. I've never been the fighting type. Literally I dead try to avoid conflict. It was like this before the meds.
If such means/makes me pussy, I gotta eat that and watch you tremble.
I've been TRYING to keep it in music. And for the most part, people have been kind and courteous to me. I guess they know that one wrong sentence and they become a bar. I can work on that, ya know? I don't want people to fear interacting with me because they would eventually inspire music. And my music isn't exactly "roses are red". As poetic as I can be, my vulgarity rings just as loud as the introspective limericks.
Bro. I can spit. I'm just tired of having to break down concepts that have been in my head longer than the rhyme itself. I spit for my caseworker today. She looked up J Dilla (the trigger), my Tim Westwood interview and my Sway freestyle. She got it. She said I have no reason to be depressed. But she understands the struggle. She is encouraging me to clean my apartment WITHOUT the incentive of company and to groom better. I tried to explain that such conditions are that of a fledgling witch, and she got that. She just said to refine it a little bit.
All the residents here love me (AND MY MUSIC!; I did 2 mixes today and the neighbors were rockin!), and there's no reason to feel otherwise.
Even with some industry niggas moving in a floor above me, bumping their shit.
They even said my shit is hot.
I have another studio album coming up. "I'm An Artist, And I'm Sensitive About My Shit". Co-executive produced by Andre "Billionaire Dre" Stancil. He helped me curate the CH's Anatomy series, specifically "The Mind of Charles Hamilton (4vr15)". In case you don't know what 4vr15 means, it means "forever 15". Sonic the Hedgehog is FOREVER 15 years old. At the time, I was struggling to hold on to the spirit of Sonic. I kept sharing it with *drKiwi* through raw, intense sex.
I don't regret it.
Remember, I'm #TheBlackDrRobotnik.
I have a whole creature to create!!!
***beep***
