This entry had/has many titles. I just went for the most blunt and direct one. Especially since I'm talking about my mental health...
I started noticing a problem around "Intervention". The tape before it was "Sonic the Hamilton", and I went crazy with the mixing of each record. The only 2 records NOT mixed by me were "10 Minutes" and "Put Cash Up (w/ Show Tufli)". I recorded those at Fight Club Studios, and they were mixed by the FCS in-house engineers. So the pressure was on to have a mix that was of Fight Club/industry standards. I mixed and mastered all of the beats before each session. I do that anyway. But yeah. Every sound was methodically put in place for StH 1. For the other records on the tape, I was highly linear with every song and mix.
If you THINK you heard it on Sonic the Hamilton, it's there.
With "Intervention", I wanted a more "modern", easy listen. So the sounds aren't in abundance, but the lyrics and lyrical content filled each void. "Intervention" has become one of my most listened-to projects.
Though I was able to keep on beat, filling in sonic gaps with words became a chore. I thought that by releasing The Pink Lavalamp subsequently (in the sequence of The Hamiltonization Process), I can take a break. But no. I went straight to work on #Awkward.
And I had to go HARD for Rihanna (peace to Rocky).
I filled every sonic void with Rihanna's music, this time.
I knew I should've taken a break, but no. Instead, I completed #Incubeats ("At Most I'm Just"), spent 48 hours on "My Brain Is Alive" and completed "The Dead Zone" (often ignored). I don't remember much about "This Perfect Life", other than it was mostly recorded at my home studio. Mixed by Woody, mastered by yours truly (and J Dilla, if I'm being frank; but that led to more of a mental decline).
Regardless, I started projecting and receiving voices. It creeped out most of my "friends". Sciryl was there for some of it. I kinda creeped him out, too. But yeah. I started hearing sounds randomly.
Fast forward to 2010, I'm in FULL BLOWN PSYCHOSIS. I had beef with EVERYONE. Not to mention being threatened by random Harlem cats. I told the story on "One Chain" from "...as a street rat". I made as much music as I could, to feed my StarChasers should I end up going to jail for killin' one of these mufuckas. And lo and behold, I got locked. Now, all I can do is focus on my writing and mental health. I was in the psych pod in jail.
When I got out of jail, I intentionally moved in with one of the cats with threats on their breath. Just to see if it was gonna go down. We ended up going to London widdit. I deaded whatever beef I had (chalk it up to the game, baby) and proceeded with my life.
We haven't spoke in some time, but... the vibes are there.
Basically, I do in fact hear voices and find it hard to sleep. So the new meds they have me on (which I've been on already) is to help me cope with it. At least I know where it all came from...
Blessings to you and yours.
New music coming soon!
#beseated
