Stories From The City

I'm a survivor. Thank you, Destiny's Child, for giving me a theme song that I am too guy-ish to play on my own. Still, I take pride in knowing that I survived the damndest conditions. From sexual assault to bullying to drug abuse to homelessness to fame to doom. I've been through it all. And I made it out with only self-inflicted wounds. Clap for 'em!!!

I noticed that since I started making music, I've met so many people who've had similar stories. At first it made me bitter. I thought I was special, God! But then, I realized that I am special, and that I am bringing light to people who otherwise would be lost in the darkness. That was my fuel to keep going. I can recall in 2014... I decided I would make CLASSIC ALBUMS. Undeniably classic albums. I didn't listen to what was hot, I barely listened to what I would normally listen to. I gave you ALL OF ME, on 12-14 track albums. At first, the projects didn't resonate with my listeners. I remember fighting tears, reading forums about how bad my music is. 

The initial feeling was hatred. Pure, unadulterated hatred. But again, it fueled me. So by the time I signed with Turn First, I was ready to WRITE some SCATHING bars at people who I don't know personally, but had so much to say about me. Around 2016-17 I started feeling guilty, and wanted to embrace my StarChasers. Strangely, it was around then that they started giving me my flowers for my music in 2014. November 30th, 2017, I committed suicide. The Devil himself said I don't belong down there, and I was escorted back to reality. I met up with my cousin Spazzo and recorded "Resurrection of the Mixtape Rapper" and "Aquafina Dreamer: The Mixtape". "Resurrection..." is probably online somewhere. "Aquafina..." is still in the vault. I might drop it by the end of this blog entry.

Point is, let nothing stop you from achieving your goal(s). You are your only hinderance. Your doubt, your skepticism, your implosions of self... all that stops you from getting where you want to go. This I know. I'm currently in trouble for being high at the halfway house I'm at. Amber got her wish, it seems. So I'm not gonna be smoking weed for a little minute. At least until I clean my rapport here at the house and get some progress on my housing situation. Basically, I let my desires get in my way. I'm still learning. But while I'm at the bottom, my hand is up, pointing my index to above the sky.

There is no limit in life.
Only what God forbids.

Love.

#comma

Ring Pop 0fficial lyrics (with video)

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(verse 1)

My humility amounts to The Industry. That's why I'm outta The Industry. You killin' me, tryna get in it. I've been winded, trying not to rhyme with Soliloquies (Marky Soliloquy is a StarChaser from Twitter; I've been trying not to make StarChasers famous with the intentions of them ACTUALLY chasing away celebrities who aren't genuine). So put a *1* up like a Diamond. As if you're done up the night of your rhyming getting rewarded. (listen to the "Diamonds From Sierra Leone" instrumental; she says "Hold one up!") My shit is as morbid as it gets, and niggas wish me to forfeit. I'm like "Forget it". I fit in Four. Like a Figure. Go figure. These niggas want more. They got sick of Dutches. These bitches want Raw. Get mad when I impregnate they state of mind. I exit. Leaving with Em, 2. Em, 3? (M3), then I'm Jazzy (M3 is DJ Jazzy Jeff's latest album; this song was recorded around the time he dropped it). No Maybach. Just me speeding around the track, quite actually. And y'all are listening badly, waiting for the "bad" me. I get ugly with mine. Rather Medusa... sit right there! Grab your computer!

(hook)

These niggas wanted to front.

Till they found out that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

Veterans had a wonderful run,

but these old niggas mad that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

(verse 2)

If I said this is not off the top, I would be an actual loser. And if you didn't get it, ask for Medusa in the back of your computer. Like *drive* it *home*. Dumb it down they say... go online and know! Traveling like a Gnome. I'm known wherever I travel, but niggas wanna battle like they better. Wherever I go. So forever I flow. Like an infinite heartbeat. Y'all niggas shock me when you try to talk to me, so I rhyme off beat so you could properly jot... what I see. And if you can, then damn. I'm as damned as you. And your reaction. But in the past. You spell it out, I blacked. Have a blast. Orgasm.

(hook)

These niggas wanted to front.

Till they found out that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

Veterans had a wonderful run,

but these old niggas mad that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

(verse 3)
I am the Gothic Rick Moranis. Jammin' like Alanis and Brandon (Boyd) in one man, standing with a composition book in his hand. You've got to listen. Or look. If you can. You lost your mind if you can't. You must be frozen. Or stolen. Regardless... when I hiss, thy wish to get the Tigris. I go over your mind like Euphrates. You afraid of the clouds? Let me rain down. And if you're "dumb", you're still gonna have the number of *1*. The first drip could lead to an argument between where you first sit and where you last stand. Like "...up for something". I don't fuck with running. "But I'm Sonic"; I'm up for the pumping of the fist. With a glove and shit. I didn't finish the bar, because y'all niggas is stuck listening to Kendrick Lamar! Feel me...

(hook)

These niggas wanted to front.

Till they found out that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

Veterans had a wonderful run,

but these old niggas mad that they under the thumb

of my Ring Pop!

Ring Pop.

-so mote it be [#cDOT!]

6 is concerned.

My brothers wanna know. They wanna know! Who's been messing with their baby bro?

As soon as I get to the point where I can tell them, their reasoning kicks in and I feel guilty for wanting to kill them. That happened to Common on "Love Is". He started to name names, and as he did it, the names ran.

I'll say it like this to make it short: don't do to me what you wouldn't do to J Dilla or George Massa. Jack is going through having a lot being done to him, so I can't speak on him. But if you can't handle the wrath of ANY OF THE THREE, don't come fuckin w/ me.

People only do this shit because I'm a kind individual. That's pretty pussy. I'm not built like a bully, I don't think like a bully, ...I'm all about love. But that's considered a weakness.

Last I checked, my gun works. 6z understand. My tranquilizer went off yesterday. How's your stomach Feelin', cruel world? Regardless, I'm cocked, loaded and ready for whatever. I doubt retaliation, but that's only temporary. 

My weapon was not formed.

11/10!!!

#comma

Sting.

Sting was not only the franchise wrestler for WCW, but he was well-loved by EVERYONE. Fellow wrestlers, admin, fans, even the WWF/E had kind words for him (despite Bret Hart having an identical finishing submission hold). But when the nWo got involved and fans and friends alike turned on him, he switched to a more Gothic, black and white look. He spoke less, carried a weapon, and even developed a less technical, more brutal finishing move. The fans were confused, but grew to love him even more. He even tried to turn heel (become a bad guy), but he couldn't shake the love.

He went on to wrestle for a few up-and-coming factions, and even fought at WWE's Wrestlemania. He's retired now, from what I've read. But still, his legacy remains unfuckwithable. 

As my 36th birthday comes around, I feel like Sting. Hip-Hop knows who I am, the legends know who I am, battle rappers fear me, producers bite me, ladies gossip... and at first I thought it was to the detriment. It can be, ya know? If I let any of the above go to my head, I'll get lazy. People already think making music is easy. And I'm not lazy. Just meticulous with my energy. But, like Sting, many good friends have turned on me. I'd say who, but I don't give the spotlight to those I hate anymore. I've also had early listeners turn on me when I decided to free my mind at night (aka not write in the studio).

My initial response to all of this is, fuck you all. But I've had time to think, and my heart came back... . I don't like the scrutiny, and it's unnecessary, but it means that you hold me to an INCREDIBLY high standard. I uphold this standard, is my argument. So why the bullshit? Is it because you KNOW I smoke weed/drink liquor? Do you want to share an esoteric joke with me when I'm high/drunk that you couldn't share with me sober? Do I burn your subconscious by not acknowledging your efforts to budge me from my self-erected high pedestal? 

Whatever the case may be, I watch it all from the rafters. And I subtly plan my attack on my naysayers, one by one. In this case, everyone, at once, on November 10th, 2023. 

You just don't know when and what time.
Just expected "your head to get that dead feeling".

#comma

Etta James and the Jets, HamilVision-ized

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As we enter Hamilton Season, I've unearthed a RARE Hamilton Gem from #TheArchives. I had no idea HamilVision made a video for this. This joint is surreal. 

Check it out!

lol hope you had a happy Halloween.
Next on the Gregorian Calendar?

Hamilton Day!

yaaaaaaaayyyyyyy!

...for me, 9th, Blu and Em.

#comma

Trouble in paradise...

 So I started a playlist at the top of the year called "Seasonal Allergies". It was basically mood music for the four seasons of the year. Long story short, I must've missed and uploaded more than one of the same video. 

So I apologize there, for that.

Anyone looking forward to the premiers can't be too disappointed... I dropped close to 50(!) projects, just this summer alone. Still, I worked hard on these songs, and I feel you guys deserve to at least hear them.

I'm new to samhain, so bear with me. Regardless, have a happy and safe Halloween. Feel good today.

!

#comma

Samhain and The Talented...

 (from wikipedia)

Samhain (/ˈsɑːwɪn/ SAH-win, /ˈsaʊɪn/ SOW-in, Irish: [ˈsˠəunʲ], Scottish Gaelic: [ˈs̪ãũ.ɪɲ]; Manx: Sauin [ˈsoːɪnʲ]) is a Gaelic festival on 1 November marking the end of the harvest season and beginning of winter or "darker half" of the year.[1] It is also the Irish language name for November. Celebrations begin on the evening of 31 October, since the Celtic day began and ended at sunset.[1] This is about halfway between the autumnal equinox and winter solstice. It is one of the four Gaelic seasonal festivals along with Imbolc, Bealtaine, and Lughnasa. Historically it was widely observed throughout Ireland, Scotland, Galicia[2], and the Isle of Man (where it is spelled Sauin). A similar festival is held by the Brittonic Celtic people, called Calan Gaeaf in Wales, Allantide in Cornwall and Noz an Anaon in Brittany.

Samhain is believed to have Celtic pagan origins and some Neolithic passage tombs in Ireland and Britain are aligned with the sunrise at the time of Samhain.[3] It is mentioned in the earliest Irish literature, from the 9th century, and is associated with many important events in Irish mythology. The early literature says Samhain was marked by great gatherings and feasts and was when the ancient burial mounds were open, which were seen as portals to the Otherworld. Some of the literature also associates Samhain with bonfires and sacrifices.

The festival was not recorded in detail until the early modern era. It was when cattle were brought down from the summer pastures and livestock were slaughtered. Special bonfires were lit, which were deemed to have protective and cleansing powers.[4] Like Bealtaine, Samhain was a liminal or threshold festival, when the boundary between this world and the Otherworld thinned, making contact with the aos sí (the 'spirits' or 'fairies') more likely. Most scholars see them as remnants of pagan gods. At Samhain, they were appeased with offerings of food and drink, to ensure the people and livestock survived the winter. The souls of dead kin were also thought to revisit their homes seeking hospitality, and a place was set at the table for them during a meal. Mumming and guising were part of the festival from at least the early modern era, whereby people went door-to-door in costume reciting verses in exchange for food. The costumes may have been a way of imitating, and disguising oneself from, the aos sí. Divination was also a big part of the festival and often involved nuts and apples. In the late 19th century John Rhys and James Frazer suggested it had been the "Celtic New Year", but that is disputed.[5]

In the 9th century the Western Church endorsed 1 November as the date of All Saints' Day, possibly due to the influence of Alcuin, and 2 November later became All Souls' Day. It is believed that Samhain and All Saints'/All Souls' influenced each other and the modern Halloween.[6] Most American Halloween traditions were inherited from Irish and Scottish immigrants.[7] Folklorists have used the name 'Samhain' to refer to Gaelic 'Halloween' customs up until the 19th century.[8]

Since the later 20th century Celtic neopagans and Wiccans have observed Samhain, or something based on it, as a religious holiday.[9]

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I'm going to be taking this time of year a bit more serious. It's usually a pretty sad time for me, despite being my birthday month. Regardless, I will be in deep meditation and reflection. If you don't hear from me, it's nothing personal. Read up on the distance.

#KillaCom
#KillaComCom

#KillaKillaKillaCom

#KillaComCom

#comma

The Game Over Sound

After YEARS of deliberation and experimentation, I decided to name my DirtyLeatherWallet sound... 

*The Game Over Sound*

Each and every beat (and song) sounds like music you hear after you lose a video game. EVERYTHING, from "My Last Song EVER" to "Pug" is meant to sound consoling yet devilish. Warm and cold. Easy to get into, hard to get out of your head.

If you want to feel like a winner, I admit, listen to Drake. If you want to feel like a lit bully, listen to J Dilla. If you want to escape your problems, listen to Lil Uzi Vert. But if you ever take a loss, in any form, and need someone/something to be there for you...

The Game Over Sound, brought to you by The Talented Mr. (Charles) Hamilton

#comma

Time w/ The Talented...!

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That's what I'm gonna call my live series. 

When I move into my new place, I have to pay for wifi. This should be interesting.

Holla at me, Mike Bella! I know you mean well...

#comma

TTMH Livewriting

 (verse 1)

This is what you want. Wanna hit you a blunt and sip with someone, while you listen to the one. I gotchu. At the end of the day, I'm not you. But I got to. You support. Listen, nigga, use the force. Like all these pseudo thugs. I just try to show you who grows up. I do know much. Who shows up? Too slow, but slow comes the bucks. I smoke too much. Open up. My throat closes as I sleep. God peep. I'm not free. Feet moving sloppy. Still I'm something you can not be. Got me? So, this is your fate. Like a Hardy. Twist it and say...

(hook)
This match is over!
Nothing will do!
I hope that I 
can survive.

Without you (4x)

(verse 2)

This is what you want. Me pissed off while I lift off a rocket. Look y'all I'm Gothic. And on meds. So my rage is in my head. Fuck staying in the bed. I DJ. And I play with the feds. Peep Jay. My next case and I'm a present to the state. Whichever state. So y'all niggas better wait. Is it pop appeal? The fact I got a deal should let you know my chops are real. But you say I gotta spit what YOU gotta feel. Well, I'm into magic like Copperfield. And a lotta niggas jock, so chill. As I... pop my pills. Oral history didn't have papers and pens. And again, that's what I'm making.

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Just a draft, written for StarChaser Mike Bella. He insists that I write, so I wrote this for him. I'll post the Live later.

Love y'all. I don't know what it's gonna take for y'all to let me do me, but I'm dooinit for y'all...

#comma

Comma updates

Shouts to EVERYONE who's been downloading/streaming my #comma music (Hamilton, Charles). The numbers are high (from what I can see), and the vibes are even higher. Shouts to Matteo and Michael J Roach for updating YouTube (AND YouTube music, I see) with each drop. 

I tried to stop after Comma, but the inspiration came flooding in. Shouts to Daft Punk and Rihanna/Eminem for showing love to "Co-Existence". The latest release is "Black Candle", another joint titled by FDAlien Cecelia Adams. It's dark, funky, poetic, and groovy. But I'll let y'all be the judge of the vibe.

I had one more new joint to record. "Stardust". This morning, I gave those beats to CYoung. He's interested, and we might have a new 3rd Eye Magic (3YM) joint coming out. "3YM: Olde Headz". We collaboratively came up with the title. 

I will be going live later this afternoon. Making beats, freestyling, just vibing with my Friday crew. Not sure if I'm gonna get some weed today. I gotta stay pretty clean at this house I'm at. But we gon rock. Roll up, light up, get up witme!

Hell yeah...

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#comma

StarCHaser Central: The Podcast!!!

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It's an honor and privilege to be a conversation point. Shout out to Mike Dee Jackson and Stik Braxton. All I ask is that you keep it 100. Flaws and all, talk about it.

Peace and love.

#comma 

Breakbeats

I often write blog entries announcing that I'm taking a break. These are not publicity stunts. I literally have to take time away from being (digitally) in front of you all (lol) every so often. It maintains my mental health. Look. I gave in to the meds. They actually comfort me. Yes, they interfere with my weed smoke, and no I don't do the same stuff anymore. But I can focus on music with lazer/razor sharp accuracy, as well as read and write more poignantly. I damn near wanna go back to school.

Along with reading and writing spells, I cross-reference my lyrics with The Bible, The Quran and The Torah. There is a published bible with only The New Testament and Psalms. Not new, but ordained ministers can attest to the fact that God Herself ordered that this new Bible be the one preached from. 

Does knowing this make me a minister?

I've been going live every Friday. And I've been getting requests to bring back "The Hamilton Quazar". I plan to keep the lives going, and when I get my own space again, I will STRONGLY consider bringing back THQ. Once again, it comes down to what I have. I did the best I could with THQ, considering the lack of resources I had. I did live DJ mixes, synced with a live feed of me reading Tarot and casting spells (and throwing curses at you proverbial "bitch ass niggas"). Though what I have is up-to-date (modern), I don't have what I once had. 

If you want it, I'll make it work. I might even do it live...

Whatever.
Stay in tuned(touch)...!

as far as the break, I won't announce it. I'll just be ghost mode.

#comma