Granted...

 

[#down.]

Martha Stewart Living (a freewrite)

 "Abishola!", cries Bob.

This love we share is not for the faint of heart.

We both may be exiled.

Excommunicated.

But the taste is not worth avoiding.

Your rage matches my bitch.

My anger matches your fit.

Fuck.

My wounds match your healing.

Your rough matches my touch.

Tongues play games.

Wolves dance to leaves.

As a boy, you were my Sun.

Mere reactions verbalize my feelings.

It's always real.

I am your altarboy slut.

The magic you make.

In death, I am there.

You never die.

You just get clearer.

What I know, you can kill me with.

To be yours.

Pardon my anger and rage.

Your fear will never be at my hands.

You know this.

You can kill me.

You can kill me with it.

I want to serve you.

Guilt-free.

No other intentions.

Allow me to.

"Schoolboy Crush" and a quiet room.

My manhood is shuttering.

Go away!

And don't... ! ... ...forgive me, beloved.

...so, let me serve you.

I must be the only one.

You're here, so you.

Just you.

Punish me like I wronged you.

Before I do.

So I won't.

I love your punishment.

When it's all said and done, I want to better appreciate you. 

And I want you to like me a lot, too.

Like... you loving me, or being in love with me...? ... I never thought about it. 

It's always been you for me. 

Yeah, I'm uhhhh... Ima go take a walk.

Stomach pain and Lolita tears.

Like...

#down 

The Intervention of Charles Hamilton... by Charles Hamilton

  

I am in the midst of a horrible comedown.

I hate to admit it, but when I make and release music at a high rate, it's usually a sign of mania.

Enjetic (Danny) doesn't help.

Call me a coward or a true music connoisseur, but I can't and don't call him wack.

I see him for the more than who he is on the surface, and that's why I put up with his abuse.

And the abuse is in many forms.

In my defense, I make him sound good.

Same with about 99% of the people I work with, with 100% of the 99 being no names.

When they eventually get the spotlight they are searching for, they realize I was right the whole time and either sheepishly try to return to my inner corcle or get more disrespectful.

I am given the option to deny their return or contemplate homicide.

Overall, the "fuck you" they deserve is in boldface.

I called VSDiamond today, and told her to "hit me with" the abuse of how bad of a person I am.

Just to use as fuel for suicide.

And she obliged.

She has no reason to be the beacon of light to make me stop.

So I told her I wanted her to "hit me with" it so I can commit suicide.

Eventually, the intensity stopped, and I was able to meekly ask for her to order me McDonald's through GrubHub.

And she obliged.

I have no reason to believe #Baddie isn't sowing her wild oats in California.

That's what "Jr.'s Gothic Bachelor Party" is all about.

Fuck you all.

You make me feel guilty about being suicidal, yet drive me to it.

Why suicide?

 I dont want to be in jail for the rest of my life around some dirty dick, unintelligent scumbags who likely know me from XXL and Briana.

I am not in a gang, so I have no friends.

I can trust no female, outside of the --AlienInvasion.

And even then, my rose-tinted shades have scratches on the frames.

I am saving my own life by writing this.

I don't even remember which blog this is.

I don't want to hate myself.

Or anyone.

But that's what is happening.

My hate f...... in GENERAL, is pushing me forward.

I am a man who listens and gives wisdom.

That gets me no respect.

So fuck you all.

And now, I miss you.

I know what happens in death.

And 3-4 years ago, it would've been a peaceful eternity.

Now, I'll be more hurt dead than I am alive.

But...

Charles Hamilton saved my life.

Charles Hamilton is saving my life.

Charles Hamilton is saving my life, right now.

Thanks, CH.

YOU ARE OWED THE WORLD, AND THEN SOME.

I earned a gift for myself, before my 33rd birthday, in my 33rd year.

That makes me feel good. 

But what's a gift if you had to earn it?

It was mine to begin with. 

!

.

I gotta pee.

Maybe that's the disdain within. 

I might get a cup of coffee shortly.

I'll listen to some forbidden CH music on the way.

I am saving my own life by writing this.

#boyohboy

[don't threaten me, Danny; Im not your enemy]

2020 EarlyWrapUp

C. Hamilton ran the streets for almost 2 years, commiting no crimes.

This has been #JrYear.

Jr. has emerged, and made his mark in music.

And has a bench warrant for a vicious, unsolicited attack on the LIRR.

Charles Hamilton has been evicted from 6 houses (10, if you count 2019), got into 2 fights in a Temporary House, got Gothically Engaged and the engagement was called off.

--Aliens and The Sun and The Hamilton Quazar were runaway successes on YouTube, but the numbers don't reflect such.

Nevertheless, the mainstream (media and music) have embraced these ventures.

Valera is fine, thanks for asking.

Both Simones keep on runnin' in and out of my life.

Daft Punk are interested in buying The Philadelphia 76ers.

As we approach 2021 (#GameOverTime), a new CH-genre has been established.

It is only a matter of creating, at this point.

When I get some tunes down, I will introduce her.

Meantime...

My new goal is to self-release and distribute a compact disc (CD).

It costs $600 to do so, and only 250 copies will be made (initially).

#TheMidnightSociety (facebook.com/NiGHTSVentura) are first priority, but Im very self-conscious about asking them to buy stuff from me.

I havent bought #VeyaShades like I intend(ed) to, and... #BlameTLC.

[im not a scrub]

But... economically, which ultimately means socialogically and beaurocratically, they can help me win.

In a game designed to exploit them.

And kill me.

CLab 2021

Underneath the water.

Stay tuned.

The Hamilton Show rolls on...

#VoodooChild...

EnTH presents: #Jr.

#here.

 

The Nu-American Flag

|#down.|

 

Villain. Rain (dawtasong)

I can stop it all

Tears from the sky

 

[.]

?/

AUTOPLAY

CLab 2021

[underneath the water...]

You're more than welcome to stop by.

Wherever I'm at.

Just let me know in advanced.

I have to tidy up.

IcyU 2.

[under review]

"15 yards, 3rd Down."

 

#ConGo update

"Finding Brooklyn Starr" and "Grand Rising" are not my original production (DJ Premier and Pete Rock, respectively), and I haven't gotten official word from either about the availability of the instrumentals.

The plan was to make a street tape on an album level, and watch it bubble from TheUnderground.

Time and life moved forward, and I want to make it all my production.

Keeping the same theme of ConservativeGoth.

I

 am very excited about my artwork these days.

Kinda been outdoing myself.

I would love to do graphic arts.

I'm very good at it.

I just feel as though such an idea is hereditary, to an extent.

Something new just came up in #TheHamiltonQuazar.

I'll keep you posted.

[tag forgotten] 

 

Chewy Jawbreakers (a freewrite)

Before I knew me, I met you.

Before I met you, I knew you.

I have been all about you since I met you.

Before I met you, I knew you.

Nothing has prepared me for you so far.

Nothing has prepared me for you, so far.

You are why preparing is needed.

You raise me as a father, as an aunt, from so far away.

You are my partner in crime, if you will.

My standard of being a man.

Yet...

I meet your standards eye to eye.

Yet I fall short of being your desire.

Yet, I fall short of being your desire.

Yes, I fall short of being your desire.

Yes I fall short of being your desire.

But we are what love is.

We were what love was.

I am not a gambling man.

Losing you proved why.

I don't want to move on.

Life is built on our togetherness.

Yet I must.

Yet, I must.

Yes, I must.

Yes I must.

The Root has lost it's Snake.

Be proud to be The Snake.

We were once one, ya know?

Feel, as The Root dies.

Inside.

Leave me alone.

Please?

[tag forgotten]

Conservative Goth (#ConGo)

In progress...

Feature production from myself, Pete Rock, DJ Premier, J Dilla, Scott Storch and others.

'Twill be The 2020 Album of the Year.

#down.

Produced by Charles Hamilton

Maine Brooks.

Gothemian Black

New Maine Brooks completed and on the way.

#unbelievable

Secrets and Privacy

I'm standing here until you make me move.

...hanging by a moment, here with you.

Click here.

Click here.

Click here.

=The Immortal=

(early release; Happy Birthday, Isa Valera!!!)