Replacing Desensitization

Let me start with this: sometimes saying "what it is" requires big words.
That requires one to have a mind willing to learn.

I have come to the realization that labels and label heads dont want to exploit or change me
And that's why it's hard for me to get a deal.
Which is humbling as it is frustrating.

I feel like I sold out a bit for the Republic deal.
I wasn't allowed to talk about Sonic, SEGA or Apple, because "them niggas ain't getting me no money."
A direct quote, from an Islamic-European white woman.
"New York Raining", though a good song and technically a hit, was about said white woman.

As a black man, it is taboo to go down on a white woman.
I did that.
Not as a requirement for the deal, but as a sealant of, "I do this, you hold me down."
To seal the deal, in other words.

I definitely feel like I lost black points in doing so.

Nevertheless, no judgement could come of such if you didnt know.
I told you because the demand for me to be in the mainstream and the requirements are overbearing.

Whether Nadia loved me truly or not is no longer a focal point.
Music and expression, however, is.

My music and self-expression has been mimicked from day one (Kid Cudi, BoB, etc.).
Now i am rather elite.
And alone in being such.
It appears that TheOverheads want to make their own CH, since I cannot be bought or exploited.
And deep down, they love me for it.
However, many have sold out for the chance to live better.
And attack me because I'm not on the auction block.

While all this admiration and backhanded complimenting is going on, I STILL NEED TO SURVIVE.

I've died a few times.
Literally.
So I know for a fact you wouldn't mention me.
No roses to smell.
But you cannot IN THE LEAST BIT deny my impact on ALL culture.
Including politics and commerce/trade.

My goal is to acknowledge this about myself and give myself my own flowers to smell.

Which is what I am about to do.

Bowl up!

I'm watching you, too!

#captivating 

DJ Chrls Hmltn on the mix!

If you notice a difference in my lyrical content, I've been making music from a DJ's perspective.

Gave me fresh inspiration and subject manner.

Check it out!

#captivating

#remarkable

Blacking on America pt. 1

You knew who Trump was before he decided to run for president.
You knew his opinions and viewpoints reflected the degeneration of the "decency" of conservative America.
You laughed at his appearance in Home Alone 2.
You watched a Black woman demean herself for his approval.
You know he's homophobic.
You know he's into missiles.

Yet when any American entertainer was in his presence or brought him up, be it as a simile or as a goal, you smiled with entertained glee.

Now the nigga is president.

You ran him through the mud for 3 years on public forums.
You agreed with right wing conservatives and left wing conspiracy theorists until he finally got caught up.

You got all holier than thou when the Biblical "sign of the times" became apparent.

I am much like Trump.

You know and knew what it is/was with me.
Before Interscope.
Before NewCo.
Before Republic.

You decided to allow your "voice" to take precedence over what you know in your mind, heart and soul.

Now, you no longer have me as an ally and pissed off a true megalomaniac, to the point where you are in Jihad with me and in the opening stages of WWIII.

I kid you not.

Look.
I was my mother's only child.
That was the only thing keeping me out of the military and the draft that YOUR president, Barack Obama, reinstated.
My mother is dead.
I am 32.
Call me a pussy, but I want any way out of military service, beyond my years in the Harlem Youth Marine Corps.
Said Corps., of which patrolled Ground Zero in 2002.

Armed.

All you tough niggas and rachit bitches, suit up and grab your fo-fifs.
Y'all of whom talk so much shit should be AHEAD of the front line.
Your opinion AND lack thereof got us here.
Feel free to blame Trump.
The same guy you sold your friends out for to stay in his establishments.
The same credit line you aspired to have, no matter how he himself obtained it.
The same celebrity you would die to hang out with, and would brag non stop about being with should you have the change to be with him.

I might have children.
My son is a warrior, with the heart of a country kid in the middle of the big city.
My daughters are your favorite targets in pop culture.
I don't want a war that would further separate us.
But many of whom have influence find it "funny" to taunt me with (literal) hate and mock the very "goal" of Trump as president.
This is karma of biblical proportions.

Don't let your mouth write a check that your ass can't handle, Good Ol' US of A.

Hulk Hogan turned his back on fundamentals and fandom for his own peace of mind.
AFTER leaving the faction of which gave him the platform of fundamentalism.

US natives, I urge you to leave the Middle East.
Now is not the time to find the glory of The Motherland.

US citizens, specifically New Yorkers, I urge you to leave the Arabic clerk in your local deli the hell alone.
The conspiracy (unspoken) has yet and doesn't need to be proven true.

The overweight, undereducated American citizen is to blame for the pending doom of "this great nation".

By lineage, I am obliged to stand up for this place (Alexander Hamilton).
The same lineage obliges me to reprimand the ACTUAL culprit of this mess (Charles Hamilton Houston).
My relation to The Moorers binds me to my race (Moor/Negro), yet research of self finds me in Ireland (Irish/Caucasian).

Egypt is the heart within that bears the undying love for the serendipitously absent (SEGA).

Don't push me, 'cause I'm close to the edge.
Then again, you pushed your own red button.
You thought it would be cute to have Trump as president.
My opinion on Hillary being president would've brought us here regardless.
A woman is too high-strung for this job, and is biologically predisposed to being devious.

No woman could or would disagree.

This is your grave, America.
Rest in peace.






(mumbles "you can't fuckin be serious, b.", before going to celhjr.blogspot.com to post whatever I want to say)

#remarkable

Missing the volume.

Where I stay nowadays, I can't turn the volume up AT ALL.
So the attention to detail is extreme, because I'm regulated to the headphones.
It was somewhat the same in VA.
At least in VA there was some sort of support for my music.

One thing I can say about Cousin Rox is that though she was supportive, she wanted to conform.
Same with Lyte.
They both said the best way to make it in the game is by doing the best of what's already out.
So, I told Cousin Rox that I couldn't do what modern rappers do.
To me, it means I have more rhythm.
It's easy to pick up the flow of Trap.
It's difficult to maintain a groove for an album.
In my case, more than just ONE album.

Trap is very boring.
The drum sounds are pretty cool, and if they weren't so overused I'd be all over them.
But the melodies are psychotic trip-endusing and the beats themselves are too slow to do any kind of damage on.
If I ever were to make a Trap album solo/solo Trap album, I'd be using the old Dip Set flow.

If you are inspired to do such a thing, cite your sources.

I keep getting phone calls from an elementary school in Baltimore, saying the kid was absent.
I don't even want to speculate.

I might not like Baltimore, but I felt my absolute freest there.
It's wild out there.
OK Corral status.
If I could only find the damn $1 real estate.

Markus definitely asshole'd his way out of my life.
Look.
He drove me to Baltimore from New York, with me under the impression he got a house for $800.
We shot videos the first day I was in Baltimore (Two Point Hospital was filmed in the outskirts of DC).
I allowed him to shoot the "She's So High" video.
I recorded an album for him to make videos to, using royalty free sounds ("To See Nicole").
All of a sudden one day, he's "unable to pay the $200 weekly to stay at Deep Flow Studios".
Same night, DJ Nick gets into beef with some neighborhood kids and threatens to shoot the studio up.

Now Markus won't pick up the phone at all.

I didn't have to allow him to make videos to my music.
I own the rights to all my music, except "The Black Box" and "Hamilton, Charles".
Nevertheless, he let me keep his turntable deck and old MacBook.
I guess he feels he paid his debt.

Whatever.
I can either allow this experience to taint my belief in StarChasers or move on.
I'm leaning towards moving on.

And I'm sure y'all know about this issue with CYoung.

He wanted to start a fake beef to promote our music/collabo with The Weeknd.
I was totally against it.
He decides to keep going and made a nasty remark about me and heroin.
I recorded a verse to this Weeknd collab, BLACKING on him AND The Weeknd.
He goes on Twitter talking shit.
At this point, I don't know how serious he is.
So I challenged him to a battle.

If I would've battled him face to face in NY, as disrespectful as I am, it would've turned into some other shit.
If I would've battled him face to face in LA, as disrespectful as I am, it would've turned into some other shit.

Long story short, we don't speak.
Whether it was a loss or a sign of growth, I'm not into rap beef.
The artists don't make money, and no one claims responsibility for the fallen.

I want to close this blog entry, but I don't know how.
I think I'll just quote Rakim.

I'm Rated R, my brain contains graphic things

It turn traumatic teens into addicts and fiends

It's like watchin' a movie through a panoramic screen

Which means, I can see the whole planet in the scene

Cash is the topic; the object? A fatter pocket

Some take the crack and chop it

But those that haven't got it take away to add a profit

It's catastrophic, I take the gat and cock it

And I'll sit back and watch it

These New York streets is ugly, I keep it gully

The world is mine, and can't nobody keep it from me

Yo, my neighborhood is never sunny

In the place where the number-one cause of death is money

You can try copin'

I've seen enough shit to leave your frame of mind broken

I'm still alive and scopin'

Be 'nother hundred years 'til my skies close in

And I'ma die with my eyes open: The Watcher!

#remarkable.

hobby. official lyrics

(verse 1)

Well, isn't this awkward. You're visiting me, listening to a pauper. Listening to the two of a pauper's authored words. Off the curb with curves. Picked up. Looking up. It's a blessing. I get down. Is it good enough? Are you looking up to me while I'm getting down? If so, am I hood enough? Is this kiss not "could" enough? 'Cause it would be what you SHOULD need, but it COULD be the last thing I ever tasteenjoymysenses going insane like an Almond Joy. Aw man. To enjoy. Mace Windu out the window. Then I become a bimbo. Two became why I lose my brain. My MO.

(hook)

Can you fall in love with me

just to

pass the time?

Can you call in love with me

just to be

past the time?

[but them im paranoid]

(verse 2)

Maintaining my focus. They saying it's hopeless. The noise is poison. The void is trying to continue the enjoyment. Y'all don't want me to continue then silence the deployment. Like Trump with the missiles. I wanted to say I miss you. Wanted to be with you. Not just at that point in time. But I point at that point in time and annoy my mind. The other side of you, a bit older, tossed me the cold shoulder. And the linking part between y'all went all Linkin Park and seen Charles depart. I ain't holding no guilt. Nor am I holding a cup of Silk. Almond Soy Milk. Of course I'm still just a boy, but... feel.

(hook)

Can you fall in love with me

just to

pass the time?

Can you call in love with me

just to be

past the time?

[but them im paranoid]

(verse 3)

Here we are. Smalls in The Sandlot. My breaking point. Y'all can stand A LOT. Understood, Trump got impeached. Please listen to a real 6ix's speech? Just what it is. FUCK what it is. And any other situation. Love's what I give. And since I gotta pay to share (like a streaming service), TAKE IT! There. Pardon, but Harden... my chin all guarded by the razor that could've touched Charles' wrist if it weren't for me speaking over all this percussion. Call it nothing. At least call it "from the heart". Couldn't be discarded. It's just what's up. When and if. Benefit of the doubt. Kissing the mouth of doubt. Now I'm out.

(hook)

Can you fall in love with me

just to

pass the time?

Can you call in love with me

just to be

past the time?

[but them im paranoid]

#remarkable.

LitLimitations

I somehow forgot to mention this.
Any keys/synths/basses you hear in my beats are from my laptop.
No external keyboard.
I play the Apple keyboard.
I do have an Arturia keyboard, but I use it for supernatural control of the sample.
Like an invisible MIDI.
I had Tyrone aka Black the Beast's Akai MPK, but I broke it.
Musically.
I'm very careful with my instruments.

I mention this, because I recently burned out ANOTHER turntable deck.
This time, a Pioneer.
Basically, it looks like I'm going to be DJing off my laptop again.
My laptop turntable skills can be heard on The Crystal Disco Ball.

An album which is being considered a Top 5 project of mine.

Dedicated to #TheMidnightSociety (the friendslist on facebook.com/NiGHTSVentura).

I'm concerned that I'm gonna go balls out with love and support of them and be pushed aside, breeding a resentment meant for relatives, bullies and haters.

I dont like when my unconditional love goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

My patience has been run thin a few times, but I somewhat and sorta know they love me back.

Yo. I was so gassed when I had a (brief) conversation with Cynthia Keller.
FDA is like Bayside and Moesha's high school.
I guess I'd be Moe-to-the-E-to-the.

Can you hear the music in the background?

lol

Back to the original subject.

I can play entire piano solos on the Apple keyboard.
You can hear it on Mankind's (Scityl x IllumiNate) "8-Bit Genesis".
I haven't spoke to Ryl in a minute, too.
I hope he's okay.
I guess we grew apart, ya know?
He has his friends.
His friends are like his fanbase.
Very similar to me.
But he (in my opinion) caters to his friends, whilst needing them.
In retrospect, much like me.
Maybe we're too alike to be around each other.

I recently added Kesed to my NiGHTS Ventura Facebook.
(NiGHTS = NiGHTS Into Dreams, the SEGA Saturn game, Ventura = Jim Carey, the new Robotnik in #TheSonicMovie; villain.)

We speak rarely as well.
I guess our lives took different paths.
I'm sure y'all can remember the glorious late 2000s of me, Kesed and B touring and bugging out wherever we went...

If not, it is locked in my heart for personal reflection.

DAMN!
Back to what I came to do now...

I jam out on my MacBook.
And..

actually, you know what?
All piano questions will be answered 3/17/2020.

Mom's birthday.

Just Charles.

I'm gonna continue listening to #TheMidnightSociety (the project) and nightdaydream about my FDAliens.

"G'morning!"
-Mr. Mejia







#remarkable.

Paul Bearer's smug mug

Many ideas, many emotions.
2020 is the first year I made affirmations for myself.
I haven't made many resolutions, ever or for this year.
One resolution I can make is to blog more.
Doing so will get me back from making music.
But I don't want to NOT .....

Look.
Time, space and music itself said I don't have to make another album.
I cracked the code of life.
I'm expecting the assassination attempts in the near future.
But still.
I love music.
And I've gotten better with my technique.

I'll figure it out.

I don't know what's going on with Isa (Valera).
It could be a cultural thing.
She is Dominican.
Anyone who knows me pre-2002 knows I LUSTED after Latinas
Dominicans, specifically.
I let them go after Ms. Fleming (Rice High School) kept talking with her Jamaican accent.

Now I'm JamGirlCrazy.

Not to mention Jan (from Bard) was Trini and Karen Williams was Guyanese.

Aight... back to what I was talking about.

Actually, I don't want to talk about my love life anymore.
I want to focus on music.
I don't want to give/share my ideas.
There are already 2 CH-based rappers who have more fame and wealth than me.
And a "God-fearing" MC/producer who "found his nitch" now that I don't share my ideas.

Admittedly, my SoundCloud has been full of fire.
Tonight (1/2/20) I dropped a personal favorite project.

#TheMidnightSociety

Okay, so...

I launched a Facebook where I am friends with people (specifically females) I am either very close to or WANT to be very close to.
High school crushes and special males.

Apparently, I'm worth more than I can provide for myself.
So to let them know they've ALWAYS been in my mind and heart, I long-distancely try to treat them special.
I'm particularly excited about going to the Times Square Krispy Kreme when it opens with Kelly and Lisa.
Lisa, don't kill me, but I only vaguely remember you from FDA.
That's the other thing.
Most of my high school crushes are from FDA.

I will never forget Kelly.

But yeah.
I want to be good to THEM.

To everyone else, I am...

The Villain.



villainy.



Okay so, I'm gonna continue listening to #TheMidnightSociety on SoundCloud and publicly stalk my FDAliens.
And eat my Cup o' Noodles.

I'll be back soon.



#remarkable.

Run this town.

VinylPop, Inc.

The Charles Hamilton Brand

3D Music

The Charles Hamilton Record Label

AwkwardArt

The Charles Hamilton photo/video company

MusicArt

The Charles Hamilton multimedia conglomerate

WuvvyDuvvyWorld

Any conglomerate obtained, but not started by Charles Hamilton

StarChasers

YOU

I have nothing to do with Demevolist Music Group, BurkeHill Management, Noizy Cricket! (thought I came up with the name), or any company ran by individuals as noted in previous contexts.

I run Apple, Google, and any other conglomerate I am the face of Pro-Bono (free).

I am looking to change these things in 2k20.

SEGA forever.

I am Atari.

~*captivating*~

The Rise...

The label.

Sleepers will join the fallen.
"The Lakers will move it back outside..."

~*captivating*~

A slight dose of my opinion.

Revival is criminally slept on.
So is Encore.
As he grew, he got more complex as a lyricist.
And his taste in music became more refined.

The reason most of you don't like Revival is because Dr. Dre isn't the lead producer on it.
Kamikaze is a bunch of YouTube beats.

But yeah.
Revival shows that Em has great taste in music (beat selection), but his skill is almost beyond the encapsulation of music.
The lyrical content on this album is brilliantly dark.

It's sad that the overview is "Em has to go back on drugs" to make a classic album.

I have to stop here, because if you knew what I knew, you'd praise him on sight.

Eminem is a guitar.
Jay-Z is a sax.
Nas is a piano.
Rakim is a DJ's MC, but is THE GOD MC at being so.

As far as modern MCs, NBA Youngboy has potential.
My new roommate plays his stuff all the time, so I somewhat had to listen.
But he isn't as bad as he sounds.

I like Kodak Black, 21 Savage is dope...

No one holds a Bic to my man Anderson. Paak, though.

Unrelated, I went to the FDA Alumni Day.
I didn't see a lot of the traditional --Aliens, but I did see a new generation of beautiful, future-ready young females of whom I can "graduate" to FDAliens.
I sincerely hope everything is alright with every FDAlien to grace the halls.
It was good seeing Mr. Montiero, I made peace with Mr. Harris (despite early reports), hugged Ms. Yamusa (YAMUSA! lol), and interrupted Mr. Murphy's class.
Felt good doing all the above.

Back to my opinion.

Goats are often slaughtered.
Acknowledge the GOATS before it's too late.
Realize that this generation is UNAWARE of grooves and lyricism.
They don't dance no mo'.
All they do is this (starts bouncing around frantically).

Be back on later.

And yeah.
There's new music.

~*captivating*~

Its complicated.

I dont even want to get into the details of this relationship.
Neither of us are to blame, by default.

3rd Eye Magic (w/ Chris Young) no longer exists.
I wish him success in whatever he does, but I have no interest in working with him.

Enjetic, an MC from Long Island, convinced me to do a joint project with him, despite my insistence that I recorded my final works.
Now he wants me to produce a whole EP for him.
It's not that I can't say no.
People just dont accept no from me.

Columbine Gang.

I am planning on a listening party/DJ set for Secrets and Privacy.
And i hope to get the album out by 4/20.
Many things are going on, including a congressional run and a potential record deal.
I'm maintaining.
Just frustrated at how "real niggas" act.

I'm gonna spend today organizing my music.
I might make a beat.
Its just weird looking for things to do when you've completed doing what you love.

*~captivating~*

In a relationship

It's not as complicated as she makes it.
In a cave, could be in a grave, FileSave.
I'm sorry for scaring you.
Say sorry fo... you did.
Im sorry again.

VSDiamond is my new heroin.
I'm gonna need help leaving her alone.

If possible, stay tuned.

~*captivating*~

The Cost of Freedom official lyrics

CH.

Jay Dee.

Always memorable.

Always a moment.

Tell me the cost to be a boss. Let me know, Boss Man. 'Cause I ain't got nothin' that I'm offering. Except my hand in the jar. Now you mad, 'cause your man is afar. The distance. I keep it ajar. Like keeping a jar of "keepin' a secret for y'all." Getting heated while I'm high. The reason I'm high. (

"Let your dollar circulate...") The best congregation if you not hating. Believe it's like dating your favorite chick. Met her back in the day. Can't get away from them chicks. Gotta get to the chips immediately if I wanna have them freaks with me. How often can a nigga "go" to get the "chips"? How lost can y'all get with the 'fro? Is it so "awesome" that the chips is what gotta go for y'all to get it? No comical. I stand up on a date. For myself and for who I love. And that should be enough. Cryin' 'cause there ain't enough bucks. Not really crying, just telling y'all where the love is. ("Let your dollar circulate...") See it in your *eyes*. When it becomes, don't forfeit. Get more of it.

To be free.

What does it cost to be free?

To be free.

How much you want to be free?

Does it cost to be free?

Yes it does.

You believe.

What does it cost?

A couple of barks. Why aren't y'all talking to me? The thought wasn't free. A penny for your thoughts and I'm offering freedom. Talk for the cheese. Say cheese for the cheese. Now, you lost your teeth. You mad at the offense? Fuck destiny, get back with the talkin'! Off with the chalk. Who are you learnin' from? Offense! Robbery of fortune. No stoppin' me unfortunately. The Boss is scorching the microphone, and the mic belongs to me. Because my freedom led to love, and love led to an exodus of what was just. Teaching my sons, but beating myself up. "DO NOT BECOME! Be a better man. Do what needs to be done for the cheddar, and, on the way... don't be a sucker, though. ("Let your dollar circulate...") You see how I didn't fuck up but so much until I met a sucker. And now I want to cut his throat. Y'all know so much..."

What does it cost to be free?

To be free.

How much you want to be free?

To be free.

What does it cost to be free?

How much you want to be free.

I know you want to be free.

How much does it cost...

to be me?

And do me...

how I do.

Jay Dee.

~*captivating*~



(apparently the song isn't available on YouTube, so I might drop it on SoundCloud; I love you, Jay Dee)

Remarkable.

Update: Here is the YouTube link.